Friday, 30 May 2008


Several women I know have asked for me an explanation of Marketing.
Perhaps the following analogies will help clear it up:

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say,
"I'm fantastic in bed."
-- That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of
your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says,
"She's fantastic in bed."
-- That's Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone
number. The next day you call and say,
"Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
-- That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and straighten your
dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I," and
reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and
then say,
"By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
-- That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says,
"I hear you're fantastic in bed."
-- That's Brand Recognition.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home
with your friend.
-- That's a Sales Rep.

Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.
-- That's Tech Support.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be
handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the
roof of one situated toward the centre and shout at the top of your lungs,
"I'm fantastic in bed!"
-- That's Spam.

So that's that explained


Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Aha! NOW I understand! Thanks for the explanation, Clyde.

I'd have to get someone to do the advertising for me...I'm MUCH too shy for any of the other marketing techniques you described. ;)

Allie-gator said...

Ha, I've read this before but it still made me laugh out loud!

Love it!

Lauren Elizabeth said...

I think I'll try all of these and see which is most effective in promoting my private brand.

Spiky Zora Jones said...

I thought I was at a meeting without the use of acroyms.

Um...but I am fantastic in bed...on the golf course, on
the carpet (watch the rug burns) in the backseat of a car, strapped to seat 12b of an airplane...

--That's logistics in marketing.

It was funny honey...I liked it.

Have a fab weekened.

Ciao babes.

Clyde said...

It would have to be someone who has tried the product. You have to believe in your product to market it well

Clyde said...

It is funny but actually explains the maketing concept well.
Although, I cant see too many ladies taking it on

Clyde said...

Let me know which one works better for you.
But most consumers like to at least see the product---and of course we like to test drive

Clyde said...

I'm in seat 12c and I'm not strapped in. Its a long flight and I would like to sample the product.
Could I get it with a bit of jungle coverage ?

Sister Christian said...

Clyde, you are a genius at explaining things. GENIUS.

Clyde said...

Of course, you have to have something that you want to market.
There is no use advertising something that is not available--
--That's false advertising



Clyde said...

But true---and an easy way of explining marketing
So where the hell have you been hiding

bunny said...

Ha! Now if only they had made things that simple at uni!

Clyde said...

They cant do that----otherwise you wouldnt think that your lecturers were so talented and Uni so tough

ann said...

So that's marketing in a nutshell, I will have to share this with all of my employees.HA Loved this post, thank you for the laugh! My fav is the Tech Support.

Clyde said...

I doubt that you will ever have to call Tech Support.
You might find out something about your staff by sharing it with them

Keshi said...


Well my Masters degree's major was Marketing. I wasnt taught any of this btw :)


Clyde said...

Thats what happens when lecturers dont want to simplify the subject

ann said...

I did share this with the office and got some really interesting responses from the guys.LOL Also, I should hope that I never need Tech Support, if so, it's time to become celibate.HA