If you have read here before, you will know that I have more than a passion for horses and their problems.
And like every other being on this earth, there is no one size fits all remedy when it comes to problems or quirks.
A couple of months ago, I ran into an old work friend at an other friends house. She told me that her husband had invested in a share in a race horse and that it was racing the next day and that their trainer was very confident of its chances.
Of course, I like racing and I like a bet, so I turned up at the racecourse for the big event.
Even with the assurance of the trainer, I only had a modest bet on the horse and walked down about 200 yards down the track to watch the race.
Their horse was 4 lengths in front as it passed my vantage point and coasting and should have won easily but stopped very badly to finish 4th.
I walked down to the stalls to see my friend and her husband. Everyone was very disappointed and the trainer was at a loss to explain the horse stopping so quickly. He was talking to the syndicate of owners when the strapper brought the horse back from hosing it down and stood him in front of them to show how good he looked----and he did look good except for one thing.
I asked my friend if I could talk to the trainer and she brought him over and introduced us.
I said that it was none of my business but that he should lift the horses tail and look.---he laughed but lifted his tail to find the horses arse open wide----he looked at me and said "What the hell is that?"
I said "Sorry, but that is the sign of a wind sucker and wind sucking will stop a train between stations, let alone a horse under full racing stress"
Wind suckers with gulp down air for relief of stress or stomach complaints and under stress will expel it like an exhaust, weakening their performance.
My friend phoned me a week later to tell me that a vet had recommended that they sew the horses arse up on race days and unstitch it after the race-------of course he did----he can make money every race day----but what happens when the horse wants to poop---and you cant sew it just before a race.
I told her that there were such things as wind sucking pads which are like a big cork with a sponge pad around it and pulled in tight by straps and elastic webbing attached to the saddle----and it can be moved aside for the horse to poop-----but some horses resent it and others will open up even wider and you still get the weakening.
They tried the pad and not only did he resent it, but he opened wider----so they decided to stitch him up for the next run.-----looked good til he split his stitches and stopped even quicker.
My friend phoned me and said they were going to retire the horse---there was nothing left to try.
I couldn't help myself---I phoned the trainer and asked if he would let me try something---it was unconventional but legal and I thought I could stop him opening up for a couple of runs.
He said he had heard of some of my strange methods and that the horse was fit, so he was prepared to give him one more run---but that was it. He asked me what I wanted to do.
Now its hard to convince people to trust in strange things but I talked him into doing his normal thing with his training and letting me into the horses stall on race day.
So we all turned up last Saturday---I told the horses strapper to walk him for as long as he could in the exercise parade ring and hope that he would empty out---and then take him to the urine stall "horse toilet" for one last try.
When he brought him back to the stall, the trainer started to saddle him up ready for his race. I pushed past the trainer, lifted the horses tail and did my trick----the horse shuffled forward and the trainer just looked at me like I was some sort of pervert.
I just prayed that he didn't need to poop again before his race.
He didn't and as he passed me 200 yards from the winning post, he was going strong, and he went strong all the way to the post.
There was much yelling and back slapping and I stood back and watched their celebrations.
There was a lot of talk about the next start and stronger races and next season and all of the dreams of racehorse owners
I didn't want to shatter their dreams, so I walked away
I was in the bar having a drink when the trainer came in. He walked over and bought me a drink.
Finally he asked---"so what were you doing behind my horse?"
I reached in my pocket and gave him a piece of plastic food wrap and said "Smell it"
I had peeled an onion, lightly grated the surface and wrapped it up---and just before he went out to race, I jammed it in the horses arse----with that onion leaching juice, that horse puckered all the way to the winning post.
I said to the trainer "Don't worry, he'll spit it out----and it might work again but it wont keep on working---so it's up to you"
See, who needs a Vet when you can buy an onion at any supermarket---and you can re-use the food wrap
Oh, and it's not the first time I've used that little trick
Monday, 27 August 2012
If you have read here before, you will know that I have more than a passion for horses and their problems.
Posted by Clyde at 10:03 pm
Tuesday, 7 August 2012
It seems as though both Australia and the United States are locked in the same debate in relation to allowing same sex marriages.
Personally, I cant see why there is any debate. Is this not just a right allowed under human liberties.
But every political opponent seems reliant on Christianity and the bible to defend their stances----even sinking as low as to quote text which declares homosexuality an abomination on the world..Leviticus 18:22.
If we are to rely on edicts set down over 2000 years ago to govern the humanity of the world today, why should we just stop at the one.
There is little doubt that the framework our laws can be related the ten commandments----but if we are going to quote chapter and verse to defend narrow minded bigotry, then maybe we have to go all of the way and accept every edict in the bible.
Lets try a few of these----I'm sure they will be acceptable to everyone.
But help me out with a few ideas.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are from neighbouring nations .
Wow, I can have my very own New Zealander.
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.
In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24.
The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9.
The problem is my neighbors.....They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death.
Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality .
I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight.
I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27.
How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean,
But may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments
made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend).
He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16.
Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
Or maybe we could just come into the 21st century
Posted by Clyde at 10:35 pm
Thursday, 2 August 2012
Every time I log on to the Net, or turn on my TV, I find a new way to communicate with the outside world.
I must admit that I haven't really kept up with all of the new technological advances out there.----and really, I don't want to.
I'm not sure that I have a use for it all
Yes, my home-line telephones are cordless, interchangeable and have speaker base stations
Yes, I have a mobile / cell phone but it is basic with a camera
Yes, I do have a PVR (hard drive video recorder) and know how to use it.
Yes, I have video senders and receivers so that I can receive pay TV in any room in my house.
And yes I have two laptop computers with external hard drives, sound systems and printers.
But that's about as far as I go
I am on Facebook under my Clyde ID and my real name but I have not updated to the new version of it---but I love to read peoples updates and keeping up with their lives---(oh, if you want to add me, my email address there is email@example.com).
And of course, I am, on blogger and do read your blogs fairly regularly.
But I thought I might try a chat room.
Why not---all these people from all over the world chatting away and making friends.
So I found this site called Omegle-----it all seemed very simple and quite civilized
There was a choice. You could text chat or video chat----just click on your choice.
Ok, easy---click Text
And there it was---a stranger from anywhere said Hi
Wonderful I thought as I typed in my Hi response.
But from there it was all down hill
The strangers next text was "ASL"
I Had no idea what that was, so I asked politely--"Sorry, what is ASL"
Back came their reply---"Are you new here"
Of course my answer was "Yes"
Back came "It's Age, Sex, Location"
I thought that was quite logical so I typed in "63 Male Australia" and sent it to my new found friend.
The next reply from the stranger was "Are you fuckin joking"
And when I said "no"---the next reply was "Fucking old pervert" and I was disconnected.
Not to be deterred by one stranger, I clicked in again and away we went
Stranger " m or f ?"
I thought--ha, I've got this now so I replied with "M"
Ok, that's easy so "63"
And I was disconnected again
Alright---lets try this again and I clicked in.
Me "Why would you ask ?"
Me "Sorry, I don't understand kik"
Stranger "Its a phone Ap"
Me "But I'm not on the phone"----and I was disconnected again
I thought that I would try one last time and give it a rest----maybe try another time of the day.
So I clicked in again
Me "Hello, how are you"
Stranger"I'm good but it's HRU"
Me "Hey, thanks for that, I'm 63 and new here"
Stranger "RU really 63"
Me "Of course, is there something wrong with that"
Stranger "RU an old pervert"
Me "No, I'm just trying a chat room to talk to people"
And that's when a lovely 15yo girl from Canada explained the facts of life to me.
Omegle and most other chat rooms are used by under 25s to sex chat to each other and get Skype and KIK contacts. Kik is a phone Ap where you can chat and video chat. "But why wouldn't you just chat here"---well, you find someone you might like then you Skype or Kik them-----"Ok, I guess that's ok, but why not just talk here"----well in chat rooms you are always a stranger and cant find each other again, but with Skype and Kik, you can keep in touch over and over------
And most of the Skpe and Kik chats involve exposing your body to each other and performing sexual acts.
So I asked this lovely 15yo if she thought that she might be a bit young to be doing that----she surprised me by telling me that most of the strangers she found were between 13 and 18-----with the occasional up to 25yo and a few old perverts.
Oh, and she told me that the video chat section of that room was mostly guys masturbating on camera.
I guess chat rooms aren't for me
Posted by Clyde at 9:19 pm