Friday, 29 July 2011


All through our lives we find situations that allow us to feel comfortable and at peace with the world.

Sometimes it is as simple as a place that we like to visit that we either enjoy or feel at peace by just being there----it can be that place we like to escape to when other things in our life seem to be in a state of turmoil.

If you have had a good relationship with your parents, just visiting them or being in the "safety" of their home can make the worries of the world just disappear.
Of course, your parents visiting you in your home and staying for some time can have another result.

And your home can be your comfort zone
Especially if after turmoil living with others, you live alone and have your own routines.
Sure, at times it can be lonely, but the advantages of being able to do what you want, when you what and even with whoever you want seem to out weigh everything else.

Either you haven't been here before or you are blind Freddie to not know that I get a lot of comfort from walking on the beach with my dog.
Our walks are always relaxing and even though we are usually alone, we are always in great company-----funny how you see more or hear more and appreciate your surroundings more when you are just strolling though life.

Barring a few short relationships, I have lived alone for quite some time.
I am comfortable living alone
I eat what and when I want---I sleep what ever hours I want---I watch whatever television I want----I surf the net and visit whatever sites I want----I walk the house dressed or undressed as I want----I am comfortable in my life and in my house.

A couple of years ago, a girl came to work in my office on a casual basis--although very bright and pleasant, she had a sadness about her which seemed to be tearing her apart.
Being single and attractive, she soon became the target of mostly unwanted attention and enquiries. She seemed to be more comfortable in my company and confided a little of her past history.
She had spent some years in the Navy as a university educated officer but had been subjected to some fairly nasty inuendo because of her gender (nothing like the old boys clubs in the armed forces) and although not discharged, her active service had been suspended on medical grounds.
She had been married and had a child and lost custody of her little girl to her ex husband because of her "navy lifestyle" and those "medical grounds"
She was trying to get her life back together, but was struggling with finances and sharing accomodation with a guy who was not supportive and was basically getting her to spend as she earned.

Although I am very comfortable living alone, I do have a fairly large house with two bathrooms, and I couldn't help but offer her free accomodation to help her get back on her feet.

It took less than a two for things to start going wrong.
Her casual contract in my office expired and her temp agency couldn't find her another contract.
She wouldn't register for unemployment benefits ----she approached the Navy to try to activate her service but they refused on medical grounds---I queried that she should be receiving some sort of invalid pension from the Navy and approached a friend of mine who was the Judge Advocate General for this State who confirmed her entitlement---but she would not apply.
For two months she stayed in my house, smoked my cigarettes, ate my food, used my car and did nothing to earn her keep---no cooking, no cleaning, very little conversation and would hibernate in her bedroom from about an hour after I got home, til I left in the morning.
She made me feel very uncomfortable in my own house.
She didn't want to come with me when I walked my dog, or anywhere I suggested that we went at night, but was critical that I was just like everyone else, leaving her alone all of the time.
Luckily, she had some contact from her father in another State and decided that she should pack up and go "home" for a while----
Funny that she had no money for food or her own cigarettes but found enough for an airfare home----but at the airport, her baggage was 32 kilograms over weight and with "no money", the options were that I took the excess home and frieghted it to her or I paid the $200 excess and was rid of her----there went $200, which she said that she would send me.
But I had my house back and I was comfortable again----oh, and I never heard from her again and never saw that $200 again.

I have just dropped a friend of mine at her cousins house---she will be there for the weekend and with other friends for a few days before going back to her home state-----
She has just left her husband and stayed with me for 10 days----she has her problems, not the least being that she has MS.
From day one she was critical of my lifestyle and asked that I not smoke in front of her---on our first trip to the supermarket she got me to buy plug-in room deodorisers.
Because of her MS, she could not walk very fast or very far but she insisted on comming on my daily walk to the beach and was critical if I left her to go further with my dog.
She lived her disease and wanted to visit other people with the same affliction but didn't want me to meet them because her husband might find out that she was staying with me.
I cooked for her, I washed for her and I cleaned for her----she couldn't wash dishes because I should have a dishwasher, like she does.
My heater was running from morning to night, lights were on during the day because she doesn't like to wear her glasses----she would comment that she could still smell me smoking outside.
I fealt very uncomfortable in my own house.

We have our comfort zones and have to be careful of inviting others in.
Maybe I am too set in my ways, yet most of my friends find me very tolerant and adaptable.
Or maybe I have that sign on me "Use as you wish and treat how you like"

I may be a bit more reluctant the future----
But, ok, I know you---you are ok---you can come and stay.
Thank god I can fart again now

Wednesday, 13 July 2011