Q:�Where can men over the age
of 60 find younger, sexy
women who are interested
A:�Try a bookstore under fiction.
Q:�What can a man do while his
wife is going through
A:�Keep busy. If you're handy with
tools, you can finish the basement.
When you're done you'll have a
place to live.
Q:�Someone has told me that
menopause is mentioned in the bible. Is that true?
A:�Yes. Matthew 14:92:
"And Mary rode Joseph's ass
all the way to Egypt."
Q:�How can you increase the
heart rate of your 60-plus
year old husband?
A:�Tell him you're pregnant..
Q:�How can you avoid that
terrible curse of the elderly
A:�Take off your glasses.
Q:�Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A:�Go braless. It will usually pull them out.
Q:�Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?
A:�Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q:�Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A:�Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.
Q:�As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A:�Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q:�Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A:�On their foreheads.
Wednesday, 14 September 2011
Q:�Where can men over the age
Posted by Clyde at 11:46 pm
Sunday, 11 September 2011
There are so many things in our lives that we have to prepare for.
We start preparing from very early in life----that big preparation to leave your mothers side and go to school----the preparation (study) for exams at school---that preparation of taking the right courses at school to be ready for that chosen profession.
There is nothing more certain in life than death and taxes.
No matter what we do, we will pay some Government levy---hey, they find some way of getting it out of you.
But do we prepare well enough for the biggest certainty in live.
Ok, you're going to tell be that you have a will, but is it up to date and is it good enough to ensure that your intended beneficiaries actually get the desired benefit with the least fuss and cost.
Does your will have a flow on clause on the off chance that a beneficiary actually dies before you.
The fact is in most of the western world, if you die without a will, your estate will go to your nearest living relative.
My brother died without a will, so his estate should have gone to my parents. The problem with that was that they were on means tested government pensions which would have been reduced by a percentage because of their new found funds.
Luckily I could get them to sign away their entitlement to my favour and I could siphon the funds to them as they required anything. But that took some time and me engaging the services of an estate paralegal---luckily I was friends with the Registrar of Probates for my State and did not need a solicitor for my advice.
Because of the experience, I queried that my parents had good binding will and discovered that like a lot of people from their era, they had will made with a trustee company. I other words, these companies administer the estate of deceased and take a percentage fee for doing so---
In my parents case they had what is called reciprocal wills---each left their estate to the other except if their partner predeceased them, then it went equally divided to their surviving children.
That's fine and simple except my mother would have incurred a debt when my father died to pay the trustees percentage fees and I would have a similar debt when my mother died.
It is cheap to do a will with a trustee company but not so cheap on the beneficiaries----and unfortunately they are black and white---so if you have 5 benificiaries to receive equal value and you have not stipulated any other divisions, then all of your estate must be sold and divided equally----so no one gets granny's ring or the piano from the parlor unless they buy it back from the estate public auction.
The first thing I did after my divorce was finalised was to make a will----because it doesn't matter that you are divorced, you ex spouse can claim to be your nearest living relative and claim your estate.
Look, I'm not going to tell you that will kits are dangerous---hell, they are better than nothing and most of us have someone who we can trust to administer the terms of the will and not try to rip everyone off.
But if you dont want the fights to happen and the whys to be asked and debated, get an estate lawyer to draw up your will and for a fairly modest fee, get them to administer it for you----and for god sake, tell your spouse/family/friends where they will find your will.
Oh, and funeral insurance is not worth having---the premiums will increase as you get older to a point where it becomes unaffordable and it is not a savings bond---dont pay a weekly/monthly premium and it is void---
If you want to purchase a prepaid funeral, do it through a reputable funeral director and it will be a dividend earning bond there for a fully paid funeral.
If you have your will in the hands of an efficient solicitor, your family wont have to worry about funeral costs because your solicitor can negotiate that the costs are an equal division for your estate.
Hey, morbid, maybe, but a guarantee that one day your beneficiaries will collect.
Mine---well ok, I'm single and have no children---so the 1st beneficiary is my dog with her own money and I already have someone who will take her with or without her inheritance, then the rest has percentage divisions between friends and a friend's children.
So make sure that you are ready----it doesn't take too much planning
Oh, one of you is in my will
Posted by Clyde at 11:24 pm
Saturday, 10 September 2011
Amazing, I could not believe it, but there they were, 765 of them
I have been trying to get my account to operate properly for some time now.
I have been unable to comment on some of my favourite blogs and at times, even reply to comments on my own blog, so I have been tinkering around trying to come up with a solution.
Maybe close down and restart, but why should I-----so yesterday I thought that I would go through by blog from the very start
Hey, I even enjoyed reading a few comments til I came to one post that had 277 comments-----277, never had more than 50 comments ever, so I checked them.
There over a period of time in foreign languages, mainly Asian and Arabic were inane remarks with links to other sites.
I started to delete them singularly at the post comment site but it would have taken forever, so I resorted to the comment section of my dashboard and found 765 of these comment posts littered through three years of posts.
I dont know if any of this will help my situation but I cant help but wonder why people take the time to come to a public forum and litter it with absolute rubbish----and maybe infect the forum
I have removed all 765 posts and please dont worry that I might infect you---I have disinfected my keyboard and I am wearing rubber gloves to type
Posted by Clyde at 11:10 pm
Thursday, 1 September 2011
There is no doubt that technology has taken over this world but has it come just a little bit too far.
For those of us who were a little bit shy and extremely inexperienced with those of the female gender, it was a daunting experience to actually ask out that girl who you fancied.
There wasn't the thought of first base or second base, it was more the hope that she might actually go out with you-----
Of course you could phone her but her mother or father normally answerred the phone and put you through the inquisition before you could talk to her and then if she said yes, you had to pick her up at her parents door and suffer the glares of her parents and little brother.
Of course you could approach her face to face but she was usually surrounded by her girlfriends and a knock back was usually amplified by the number of her girlfriends and of course you couldn't ask them out because they knew that they weren't your first choice.
But then technology made it so easy----every girl has her own phone----and you don't even have to talk to her, you just send a text message and see if she replies----the embarrassment factor has gone.
How easy has technology made things for young guys----well even easier when it is now appropriate for a girl to ask a guy out.
But now here it is----you dont phone, you dont send a text message, you sent a photo of your genitals to a girl and if she reciprocates you are at second base before reaching her front door.
And if she doesn't and shows the photo to her friends, you might receive a reply from one of them.
Or you end up with your bits on a facebook page.
Whatever you think, sexting is the new big thing of the world.
Personally, I have never given it a try----some might say at my age that it is just as well.
But I must say that I am not adverse to receiving and mail---oh, except from the guys---no non no
Posted by Clyde at 10:41 pm