Wednesday, 5 May 2010


When I fell in love, I thought it would be forever--I think it is because I remember every girl I ever fell in love with and they all have a place in my heart.

I'm a giver, a provider, lover
I want to give the girl I love everything that I can.
I want to provide everything to make her feel as special on day one thousand as she is on day one.
I want her to know that she is loved forever.

I have not succeeded in love---I'm probably not good enough---I'm probably doing it all wrong---but I want to keep on trying---I want to get it right.

I met an old man while I was working for a bookmaker on the racecourses on the weekends to earn enough money to buy a house for my love.
He used to bet with us on every race---he was there every Saturday.
He seemed so miserable and I could never engage him in any conversation---he seemed so lonely.

I lost my father nearly 12 months before he died---his mind went before his time and my mother could not care for him----I had to find him full time nursing care in an old age facility.
It was hard--I visited every day on my way home from work---he would know me one day and not the next---we would talk for hours one night and the next he would turn away from me.
I never knew if it was anger or his mind but I just had to love him and be there for him.
I would take my mother to visit on weekends---he would not talk to her---she visited with a friend during the week but he never spoke---but she kept on going because this was the man she loved.

Dogs were allowed to visit the facility, so on the second weekend I took my Labrador to see her dad---he used to care for her while I was at work---they walked my beach every day.
My dad was in the day room lounge and that beautiful dog was glad to see him but he pushed her away---he had forgotten her. While we talked my dog wandered across to people who called her and then across the lounge to the far corner and sat in front of a woman in in a reclining bed/chair---she had a man with her---he was dealing cards--two hands and playing both because she couldn't move he hands---there was no verbal communication, just eyes but her eyes were on my dog.
I called for her to come back but she just sat---so close to this lovely lady---it was almost hypnotic between them.
I went to get her and the old man looked up and said, "It's OK, my wife loves dogs and she loves that one"---it was the miserable old man from the racecourse---he looked at me and said "Please don't tell anyone"----I thought I knew what he meant----that he didn't want me to tell anyone about his wife.

The nursing staff told me later that his wife had been there for seven years and that he visited her for four hours every day except Saturdays---they wondered what he did on Saturdays----I knew then what he meant---he felt bad taking one day for himself and not visiting his wife.
We spoke a little more at the racecourse---he would smile occasionally, not often.
He would nod in acknowledgement when he saw me at the facility, but no more.
My dog would go and sit with them when she visited

He loved his wife and it was a love that lasted forever

How privileged are we to find someone to love and that someone who loves us.
How wonderful it must be when it lasts forever