Wednesday, 26 November 2008


Throughout history, members of the human race have waged wars on other members.

It has always been about control
Who can control more than someone else

And throughout history, man has developed weapons in an attempt to get the upper hand on the foe.
We have gone from rocks to spears to guns to bombs to nerve agents to chemicals.
We have gone from face to face on the great battlefields to traps places in jungles to missiles sent from afar.

Everything that has been invented has been designed to bring our enemies to their knees.

But think about it
It has been there all along
The most powerful weapon in the world and throughout history, it has brought the strongest most courageous warriors to their knees.
But like all weapons of mass destruction, it can be unpredictable, volatile and uncontrollable.
It's a chameleon-----forever changing

All we have to do is learn to harness it
If we can do that, it could lead to world peace.

AND it is----OK, you should have worked it out by now
Those who have it control those who don't


Come on----look at the controlling possibilities
Look at how it controls you now

Saturday, 8 November 2008


There, that got your attention.

I keep reading posts and comments about guys not being able to find a clitoris.

So what the fuck is a clitoris----well clinically, it is the erectile organ of the vulva-----Yep, that's right-----erectile organ----it is the female equivalent of a penis. It is the GO button.

So, with guys, the erectile organ is out there for all to see----no one needs any guidance to find a dick----here, its the stiff thing under your nose----OK, you cant miss it.
And it is not too hard to work out how it operates.
You can give it a little hand crank, take it in your mouth and bob up and down or stick it in your vagina and ride it like a rodeo champion.
Persistence in any of or all of these activities will result in an eruption of smegma from the penis and a broad smile on the owners face.
And guys are quite happy to give directions

OK, now the clitoris

It is not out there for all to see-----pants down and it is not a dangly bit so obvious that you naturally gravitate to it.
Get your lady excited and it's not pointing out there for you to grab, devour or ride.
So where is it-----well take your time and search around and if you are not sure, fucking ask
Geez, no wonder girls like playing with other girls

And ladies, if it is so fucking important----draw a map----- get a tattoo with an arrow pointing to it-----get it colour coded
And show him how to operate it

No, you are not going to do that.
Well OK, that's fine----but dont't complain when he spray paints your womb, smokes a cigarette and wipes his dick on your curtains as he leaves.
You have to remember----we don't have one, we dont know how it works, we are not good at asking directions and once we have got our jollies, we are satisfied.

God, at least you get an owners manual with a car.

And yes---I do know----and I know because a lovely young lady gave me directions

Saturday, 1 November 2008


The medieval practise of using chastity belts to protect the purity of your wife and female offspring is making a 21st century comeback----well, so they say.

Now it used to be that you would get your most trusted blacksmith to make up some sort of locking belt with a groin piece to cover and prevent access to the genital area of you wife and precious female offspring-----thus ensuring that no one was touching up the Mrs while you were off battling the heathen hoards and protecting the virginity of your daughter to increase her appeal to wealthy suitors.

There was the story of the nobleman who had his wife's belt made up with a hole in it allowing access for his cheating compatriots, but it had a little guillotine to chop off or at least take a chunk out of the offending tackle.

So now this idea has come into the 21st century----well at least that is what they are touting it as.

The 21st century idea is knickers with a GPS device sewn in.

So now you can sit at home and know where your under age daughter is---
Well you may think so

Come on----how the fuck is this gonna work-----all you know is where the knickers are.
So you know that your daughters knicker are at the ice skating rink
But does it tell you that they are around her ankles and some local stud is up to his nuts in her not so virginal pussy.
And of course when your GPS receiver says that she is at the local dance, it is not until she walks through the door that you realise that those traceable knickers are in her boyfriends glove box.

Some how I don't think there is going to be a big sale for this new invention.
And how the hell can they say it is a chastity belt.

If you really want to know where your daughter is, ask her-----and show some trust.
Do you really want to know that she swallowing knobs behind the sports shed or taking it from behind over the bonnet of her boyfriend's car.

If you really have to know, you are going to have to find yourself a blacksmith so there is no access-----of course she will hate you.
Or when she gets home from a night out, throw her knickers against the wall.--------if they stick, you have your answer.

GPS knickers-----you have to be joking