Monday, 27 December 2010


OK, this could be offensive to a few people, but basically, GET OVER IT.

In the past two years I have received regular emails warning me that the Muslims are taking over the world
They have ranged from warnings that "they are breeding more children" to "it is the fastest growing religion in the world" and "they are taking over countries by stealth"

If you can read this, you have access to the Internet, so go and read some truths and get over this scare mongering shit that all seems to be emanating from one country.

From the wording of most of these uninformed warnings, it is obvious that a lot of people read some fairly scandalous articles, totally lacking in credible fact, published in the Readers Digest----ooops, should I say that---oh well.

OK, all of the reports and warnings used to say Muslim Fundamentalists but now it suddenly becomes the Muslim religion.
Fundamentalists----what the hell are Muslim fundamentalists-----well fundamentally they are Muslims.
That's like saying Catholics, Seven Day Adventists, Jehovah's Witnesses and the Orthodox Churches are fundamentally Christians----but so are half of the murders and rapists in gaol throughout the world.
So these terrorists happen to be Muslims---it is an enormous leap to say that every Muslim is a terrorist.

But all of these emails and reports seem to want to make us suspicious of everyone who happens to belong to this faith.
And if they don't want to mention the Muslim religion, they say "men of an Arabic appearance"---- Great disguise guys, but you really need to know that a lot of people of Arabic appearance are Christians.

OK, here are some facts for you----look them up----some of these emails have used these facts but they leave little bits out.

There HAS bean an increase of 235% in the number of Muslims in the world---that's a fact---the bit they miss out is that this has been in the past 50 years---and that is directly linked to the birth rate in 3rd world countries where Islam is the dominant faith---they are not going for the 1.5 children per family and also don't have 25 digital channels on their TV.

Islam is the fastest growing faith in France. Yes, that right, but mainly because of immigration---but also the truth is that only 5% of the entire population of Europe are Muslim.

Islam is in 204 of the worlds 238 countries but Christianity is in all 238

In the United States and Australia, the fastest growing religion is Buddhism---so we had better watch out for those guys in robes sounding those noisy gongs---they could bring our countries down.

In the entire world the fastest growing religions are Baha'i with a 2.28% growth and the Zoroastrians with a 2.65% growth---and no, Zoroastrians don't ride black horses and wear masks.

If the people in the USA really think that they are taking over, look in your own back yards---in your population you have 2% Jews but only 1.4% Muslims----I would be more frightened of the power of the Scientologists or those freaky people in Utah who are still waiting for the second coming 50 years after their prophet said he was coming to Salt Lake City.

That Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world is pure myth at best and at worst a deliberate deception of solid statistical facts.

Stop fueling these myths and forwarding on these emails---reply and tell the senders to check their facts---well, go on--Google it

Maybe you will be a little more tolerant and a little less scared

Saturday, 25 December 2010


I don't care if you are Christian or follow any other faith.
I don't care if you don't have a faith to follow.

I don't care what colour your skin is
I don't care if you are young or old, tall or short, male or female.

So I guess that is you---and I have a message for you


May we all have peace and joy.

Oh, and if you tell me when your special day is, I can celebrate that with you.

Oh, and I love you

Saturday, 18 December 2010


Every year I do my naughty and nice lists just like Santa.
But I work it the other way around--geez, maybe I could do a deal with Santa on the lists.
So anyone who has been real naughty, I send a Christmas card and an invitation---and those that have been nice all of the year, well, they get a quick email.
I really do like the naughty girls
Well, at least those who might want to be naughty.

Now where was I going with this---bloody wine---oh, yes, I've got it now
I knew that I had something to say.

So every year, I am the first person to send out the Christmas cards and every year I get the same number back
So I thought---are these people just being kind and sending back card for card.
Are these people really friends---do they actually think about me.

I don't have any immediate family and really only keep in touch with one cousin and one second cousin---the rest of the list are "friends"---some of whom, I only hear from once or twice a year.

So this year I am that guy---only sending back cards as I receive them---and then, knowing when the last deliveries will be, sending out cards to all of those on my list to say at least I thought of you.

It is a great time of the year to remember all of your family---even like me---all of those who are no longer with us.
Remember that you will regret---I'll guarantee this---you will regret not being there for any of your family when you no longer can be.
So be there for them now.
Forgive them for any indiscretions
Send them love and joy
It will cost you little but you will gain plenty.

I am lucky this year because my best mate is here from interstate and I will have lunch with him and his family----but the afternoon I will spend on the beach with my dog and remember my family.

Much love to you all

Saturday, 11 December 2010


It is funny that when you are 16 / 17 / 18 / (insert other here )and you have become sexually active (your having it), you think that sex is the domain of the young and you are going to get what you can.

(Sorry, I forgot the Catholics----when you are 32 and have left your mothers house)

Well, young guys are trying to get all that they can and tell all of their mates how well they are doing (liars)--and young girls, petrified by the first experience, are trying to fight off the young blokes and telling their friends that they haven't done it yet.

The one thing that you never want to think about is your parents having sex---no no no, not never no.
But if you look at it, your parents were mid 30s to 40s when you joined this sexual revolution, so there is little doubt that they were comfortably shagging at home in bed when your spotty arse was bobbing up and down in the back of a car.

And worse than that, your grandparents were in their 50s to 60s and they were probably plonking their teeth in a glass alongside the bed and fumbling around under the sheets---granny may have even been giving grandpa a gummy, oh no, not oh shit, that is sick.

But the older you get, you realise that life didn't stop in your teens, twenties or thirties.

An article published this week in the local statewide paper, said that research has shown that one third of Australian men aged between 75 and 95 are still active between the sheets.
Now I'm only guess that they had a partner, because it didn't make that clear, but 95---oooohhhheeee, there is plenty to look forward to.
A further survey of 3274 men found that the frequency might not be there in the 70s, 80s and 90s but there was activity---about half of those sexually active were satisfied with the frequency---so I'm guessing the other half were getting a knock back here and there.

I showed the article to a friend of mine who is the nursing director of a local nursing home. She laughed and said that I would not believe the sexual activity that goes on in nursing homes.
And the best news that she gave me was that the women out number the men by three to one in most nursing homes.

So if you think that your age group is doing better than any other, then maybe you should think again
And if you are thinking that your sex life is coming to an end, maybe think again---well, unless you are 104

And if you are a teenager, yes, your parents are, your grandparents probably are and great grandad is a stud down at the nusing home.

Of course, if you are Catholic--it started at 32 and its all over by 42, so you'll just have to do for yourself and go to confession

Saturday, 4 December 2010



It has been the coldest, wettest and windiest spring that I can remember.

Usually by November we are looking at mild sunny days with the occasional day of rain and wind----but this year it has been the other way around.
Eastern Australia is still having storms and floods.

But suddenly it's December and in Central Australia Summer has just appeared---and with summer the warnings have started.
Wear a hat
Wear sunglasses
Wear lightweight clothes with long sleeves.
Wear sunscreen
And make sure with children and those adults who cannot apply it to themselves, that you assist in the application of sunscreen

Now that is all good and well but there are times when you really don't want to assist people to apply sunscreen.

Of course there are those sun worshipers who just cant help themselves---and as soon as the sun is out, they want to lay out in the sun to get a tan.

Some people are lucky to have a pigmented skin and don't tan or burn as quickly as those with a pale skin---but they do burn.
A friend of mine has red hair and very fair skin and seems to break out in freckles before she starts to tan.
Personally, I am not going to lay out in the sun to bake and change my skin tone.

And of course the skin cancer warnings are out there again.
Check your spots, check your moles and if anything has a drastic change of colour or size, go and get it checked.

But I have one more warning for all of the guys.

If you are at the beach or near a pool or anywhere where there is a "young lady" sun baking---and you don't know her----and she asks you if you would mind rubbing some sunscreen into her exposed body parts----THINK----use your big brain, not that little one hidden away in your board shorts---THINK---
Do I know this girl ?
Would my partner like me doing this ?
Why would this girl want my hands on her body?