Monday, 29 March 2010


You look like you are from Persia---I don't trust you

You have a suntan, a scruffy beard and your wife has a hood over her head and I cant check out her tits so you have to be a suicide bomber or some sort of terrorist. Your children look different and I don't want them mixing with mine.

You want to face the East and pray at certain times of the day---I don't know anything about that so I am suspicious of you.

How sad is our world
We live in fear of what we don't understand but because someone claims it to be Muslim, our level of fear increases.

They talk about terrorists being Muslim fundamentalists but if ask your average follower of the Muslim faith and they have no idea of of what a fundamentalist is or may look like.

OK, it took a bit but I decided to read the Koran / Quoran-(fuck you Microsoft on your spelling).
Now according to this book of faith, this religion has nothing against the Christian religion and suggests nothing about waring with the infidels.

So what is this shit.

Is it no more than some "persons" radical interpretation of a religious book.
Is this like the Catholics versus the Christadelphians versus the Jehovah's Witnesses versus the Anglicans----but this is another book.
Is this book any worse than the Book of Mormon or anything published by those weird cunts, the Scientologists ----oops, sorry--4 letter word, but tell me there is another description for them.

Was there not a world war started by some little Austrian born German dictator with an agenda to wipe out those of another religion in Europe.

Are we going to be intimidated by people who are strong in their beliefs, or are we going to be suspicious of them because of their beliefs, just because the rebels against our beliefs happen to have the same religion as they do.

The people threatening our way of life are terrorists----gutless morons who attack innocent people because they don't have the bravado to come out and fight in hand to hand combat.
They hide behind a peace loving religion and make us suspicious of all who follow that faith.
Love your neighbour because they are your neighbour, not because they are Catholic, Muslim or Buddhist.
Hate your neighbour because they are arrogant, ignorant, antisocial morons, not because of their race, colour or religion.

I hope we can fix it---why not try---tolerance and understanding


Tuesday, 23 March 2010


OK, Summer is over, so could you put your clothes back on and stop frightening my dog.

I live 100 yards from a beautiful white sandy suburban beach.
It is not a popular beach because you can't park on it and there is not a lot of parks close to it---so people being lazy choose to go to other beaches----please do.

The Local Government Regulations allow me to walk my dog on the beach, off the leash before 10am during the warmer months and all day for the rest of the year.

OK, I just have to add in some facts here---this is a suburban beach---close to houses, families and children----my dog is a golden Labrador and everybody loves Labradors. And I walk my dog on that beach nearly every day of the year.

It doesn't matter how many health warnings the authorities issue about sunbathing, it seems that young girls believe as long as you do it before noon, there is no health risk.

Now I'm not going to knock this---the beach is a beautiful place in the morning but the vision of the occasional fit young lady, topless or not, laying on the sand enhances the wonders of nature.
Most of the topless girls cover up / roll over as people get closer or as my dog wanders over to introduces herself----but some just ignore the intrusion and enjoy the rays.
There are small sand hills a little further down the beach from my house.
It is a fairly regular occurrence that my dog will flush out a nude sunbather---most cover up very quickly but occasionally they just yell at her and flash me.

Really, I don't care----enjoy your sunbathing as long as you are not offending any families or children.
BUT---yes BUT----what does bother me is those ladies those who are a fair bit older than their teens, 20s or 30s and are carrying far too much condition to suck in to impress the passers by and those 40s, 50s guys who strut up and down the beach in their skimpy swimmers, sucking in their guts------for gods sake, go away, you are frightening my dog.

Why is it that people who are totally out of condition or have reached those droopy years, think it is acceptable to show their wares on a public beach.

I have never been to a nudist beach but those people that I know who frequent them are not people I want to see with their kit off. Don't some of these people have mirrors

So summer is over---I'm gonna miss the cute little sunbathers til next year but I'm certainly not going to miss the crinkly wrinkly wannabes.

My dog and I will still enjoy this beach til next summer

Tuesday, 16 March 2010


The green monster will eat you right up.

OK, for the guys who just got a twitch in their jocks and the ladies who just had a quick flaps down landing, I have to explain this eating.

I'm not sure if all parts of the English speaking world understand that the "Green Monster" is a euphemism for jealousy.-----Geez, who knew that I could spell euphemism.

From my experience of life, which is fairly considerable, jealousy tears into more psyches than any other emotion.

Of course we all suffer from petty jealousies----some of them caused by varying degrees of vanity.
I don't want to get sexist here but I think that the ladies suffer with a few more of these petty jealousies than the average guy.----better shaped, smaller, bigger, perkier chest flesh----longer legs, firmer arse, hair colour. It is funny that those with the most insecurities have the most.

Guys really only have two common jealousies / insecurities / vanities----they want more to fill their jocks and a better car------there used to be a third---hair---but now a shaved head is a fine thing---the comb over is dead.

All of these insecurities will nag at us to certain degrees until we really start to obsess over something and then all logic goes out the window.
In relationships, jealousies cause a loss of trust and without trust, there is no basis for the relationship to survive.

I had no idea how insecure, obsessive, controlling and jealous my ex wife could be until I married her-----of course I didn't, I wouldn't have married her--right.

Well, maybe---sometimes we see these things but because of out trust, belief and love, we ignore them.

The night before my wedding, my best mate told me that his wife was uncomfortable about all of the questions my future bride was asking about my previous relationships----especially one-----one that had ended some three years before.
I laughed about it at the time----I would have told her anything that she wanted to know.
The day after the wedding, driving to an interstate honeymoon, the subject came up---she brought it up----it was like an inquisition---and then accusations because I hadn't volunteered a blow by blow account of every day of my life.
For 9 years of marriage, that green monster ate the love, ate the trust but until it ate my soul, I thought we could survive.

Be careful of the green monster---it will eat you all up

Hmm, this started off so well, but I'm not sure that it was worth writing----but I had to post because some pushy woman told me---god, and she hasn't even showed me her bits

Wednesday, 10 March 2010


There is this myth or is it an utter lie contrived by genteel ladies, that women don't fart.

OK, I know that as a young boy and even as a young man, I thought that volume and sound were very good things and should be cultivated to impress all within earshot.

That is was a great achievement to ease out that silent but deadly expulsion to a captive audience of a crowded lift

And as a young soldier, learning how flammable that gas was and burning the hairs off your arse in the name of manly fun.

But the girls----they never did----you know, they just don't fart.

A friend of mine explained to me that women don't actually fart until they are married----cos until then, they don't have an arsehole.

But now I have a very feasible explanation for why it is a rarity for women to be heard blurting out a thunderous fart.

They like to talk----OK, I know that
There are sometimes when they want to talk and you just want to get on about your business---OK---
So with all of this talking, they don't built up enough pressure for a decent fart.

OK, ladies, there it is---so less talking and more farting and your guy will be happier