Saturday, 25 October 2008


Most of the laws of the western world seem to be some adaptation of the Big Ten.
You know---up the mountain and bring back the tablets----and Thou Shalt Not.

The Christian religions still teach and adhere to the Big Ten and teach condemnation of those who dare to live a life outside of the teachings.

But you only have to look at the variances of "The Word" taught by a plethora of "Christian" sects to see what a divergence of beliefs there can be in one community.

How hypocritical can some of these religions be.
And how hypocritical can members of our society be.

The Catholic Church teaches condemnation of same sex relationship, yet defends, protects and hides members of their hood who are bum fucking choir boys, orphans and students placed in their care.
Members of their congregations alienate members of their own families because they dare to love yet defend their offending teachers.
They even have an old guy in Rome who sets rules on contraception and abortion---it amazes me that they don't publish a book on acceptable positions and limit activity to the bedroom and only on Sundays after attending Church.

Don't get me wrong here----I'm not just picking on the Catholic Church---although they are an easy target----but other "christian" churches are guilty of the same sins.
Hey, a friend of mine was the Monsignor in charge of marriage guidance in this state-----I couldn't help but say to him---"Hey Mons, what would you know about it. You've never been married and never had sex". He said "But I've read all of the books"
Geez, I didn't know that relationships came with an owners manual.

Guys in our communities regularly bitch to their mates because their partners wont participate in anal sex but are totally abhorred by the two guys next door who regularly engage in self same act

Guys love a girl who will spend time licking and sucking their dick but don't want to spent equal time returning the favour.-----but then they are abhorred by by two girls spending the required time with each other.

My State made a big statement by legalising homosexuality.-----my thought at that stage was "I hope they don't make it compulsory".

Some places in this sad world of ours still make sexual activity between two consenting adults of the same sex, illegal.

How sad is this world, and our christian religions, when they cant recognise love.

Hey---am I gay---
Nup, sorry, I really like girls too much
So why write this---
I read probably the saddest post from a lovely young lady who outed herself to her religious parents who's reaction was abominable.
I defend the right of anyone to be in love and I feel sorry for anyone in this world who cant recognise it.

A very wise man----John Lennon----once said----"Give love a chance"

Wednesday, 22 October 2008


On average, past generations left school with a greater over all knowledge than school leavers of today.
They were far better prepared to face the world and had a far greater diversity of career opportunities open to them.
They came out of classes that averaged 35 to 40 students and got very little individual attention from their teachers.
They left school with an ability to count and spell, could find France on a map, make rotten egg gas and create a lever and fulcrum to shift a heavy load.
They had a healthy respect for, or a fear of their teachers.
They called their headmaster sir and had seen or heard of the punishments that he could hand out.

But then we got rights.
Parents were not allowed to punish for fear of legal ramifications.
Teachers were not allowed to raise their voice because the student counsellor said that they were intimidating
Class sizes were capped at 25 to allow for individual attention.
The ability to spell gave way to a phonetic understanding
Counting gave way to ability to use a calculator
No one cared where France was
And we will get some one else to shift that heavy load.

The Police cant kick you in the arse and send you home for causing a public nuisance for fear of losing their jobs and the Courts will ask you to apologise to the owners of the 7 houses you have broken into.

Past generations probably learnt by fear of failure or the fear ramifications for not learning-----but they did learn

But we did learn something very important for success--respect--respect for ourselves, respect for others and respect for society

A little oppression didn't hurt

Monday, 13 October 2008


Local news stories have two flashers running around town at the moment
Well, maybe not running
One is dropping his dick out the bottom of his shorts to show the young ladies at a popular boat ramp.
The other is hiding in bushes near a bus stop and waving his wand at female commuters waiting for their buses.

Now I cant work out how you get your rocks off by showing your dick to a few strangers and running off
And I don't condone anyone doing it
The ladies have complained and the Police are out looking for the flashers----of course the ladies cant give much of a description of the perpetrators faces but have given detailed descriptions of the dicks.

OK, the equality bit.

So these two blokes are in trouble with the law-----indecency laws
A guy gets his dick out in a night club and he is frogmarched out and gets the shit kicked out of him in the gutter.
A guy waves his wand a little early on a date and he gets spat on and called rude names.

But----and here it is-----

A girl gets her pink bits out and shows then to the world.
No report to the Police and gets followed home by bus commuters and fishermen from the boat ramp
The door Nazis at the club buy her drinks and all the guys cheer.
Her date gives thanks to his God and they have a big night.
And the upskirt photos appear in four magazines

So where is the equality there.

Not that I want to get my dick out and wave it around but there should be equality in the results of publicly displaying of genitalia.


Should I have a poll here----how distasteful would that be on a class publication like this--

OK---tell me----have you got your bits out in public---just for an airing

Thursday, 9 October 2008


Geez, I thought that when you held a farewell party on your blog, someone withdrew the oxygen and the flicked the switch to that low beeping sound, a few nice things were said about you and you were off----never to be seen again.

Guess I was wrong

I suppose technically the blonde bombshell from Sydney hasn't really made a comeback by guest posting to add some class to the elegant and often wasted one---
But now there has been some red smoke from the chimney and a full resurrection has occurred.

Just when one long term blogger thought that it was safe to start regurgitating scurrilous accusations and throwing them around the sphere to boost their own ego, the phoenix has risen.

She has followed the yellow brick road and found her fighting voice again.

The redheaded witch is back

Welcome home Uber ---yes, it is the right way around

Tuesday, 7 October 2008


Hey guys, it's nearly summer down here, so you will have to get out there and buy some new fashion swimmers.

Yeh, right
Last years boardies arent totally faded yet and there is only one small reef tear in one leg, so why the hell would I waste good cash on new ones.

So guys, you are ready---you just have to find the boardies in the bottom drawer---but what about the ladies

Well you know that they cant wear last years gear so out they go on the hunt.

Not a big deal you say----hmmm-----well read this and you will realise what terror the change of season can strike in the hearts of the ladies.

Of course I didn't write it----I'm too busy sewing up the crotch on my 5 year old boardies.

"I have just been through the annual pilgrimage of torture and humiliation
known as buying a bathing suit. When I was a child in the 1950's, the
bathing suit for a woman with a mature figure was designed for a woman with
a mature figure -- boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as
engineered. It was built to hold back and uplift and it did a good job.

Today's stretch fabrics are designed for the pre-pubescent girl with a
figure carved from a potato chip. The mature woman has a choice - she can
either front up at the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a
skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus who escaped from Disney's
Fantasia - or she can wander around every run-of-the-mill department store
trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of
fluorescent rubber bands. What choice did I have?

I wandered around, made my sensible choice and entered the chamber of
horrors known as the fitting room. The first thing I noticed was the
extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material. The Lycra used in
bathing costumes was developed, I believe, by NASA to launch small rockets
from a slingshot, which give the added bonus that if you manage to actually
lever yourself into one, you are protected from shark attacks. The reason
for this is that any shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would
immediately suffer whiplash.

I fought my way into the bathing suit, but as I twanged the shoulder strap
in place, I gasped in horror - my bosom had disappeared!
Eventually, I found one bosom cowering under my left armpit. It took a
while to find the other. At last I located it flattened beside my seventh
rib. The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups. The "mature
woman" is meant to wear her bosom spread across her chest like a speed hump.
I realigned my speed hump and lurched toward the mirror to take a full view

The bathing suit fitted all right, but unfortunately, it only fitted those
bits of me willing to stay inside it. The rest of me oozed out rebelliously
from top, bottom, and sides. I looked like a lump of play dough wearing
undersized cling wrap. As I tried to work out where all those extra bits had
come from, the pre-pubescent sales girl popped her head through the
curtains. "Oh, there you are!" she said, admiring the bathing suit...I
replied that I wasn't so sure and asked what else she had to show me.

I tried on a cream crinkled one that made me look like a lump of
masking tape, and a floral two piece which gave the appearance of an
oversized napkin in a serviette ring. I struggled into a pair of leopard
skin bathers with ragged frill and came out looking like Tarzan's Jane
pregnant with triplets and having a rough day. I tried on a black number
with a midriff and looked like a jellyfish in mourning. I tried on a bright
pink pair with such a high cut leg I thought I would have to wax my eyebrows
to wear them.

Finally, I found a suit that fitted ... a two piece affair with shorts
style bottom and a loose blouse-type top. It was cheap, comfortable, and
bulge-friendly, so I bought it. My ridiculous search had a successful

When I got home, I found a label that said,

"Material will become transparent in water."

Ha----enjoy the search ladies---we will be watching

Thursday, 2 October 2008


Bloody perverts
You thought this was a story about me and two ladies---well its not
It's three ladies

Well, OK, three females

So I get rid of the boarder on the Saturday night. I write my little story on Sunday and settle down to a little cheese and champagne. My house, my dog and I am happy.

Well that bloody phone rings-----well I think, OK, that will be her phoning to say I'm sorry and tell me the $160.00 is on the way -----but no----it's the ex wife.
Oh, fuck, she only rings when there is a problem and I always help-----I'm really out of help----I've given it all away in the past few weeks.

So here she is, in her car, in the driveway of her house, frightened to go inside to her daughter who has beaten her up after a mother/daughter verbal
And I'm supposed to cure this.
OK---the daughter is not my child---I just paid out to raise her because her deadbeat father was raising another child from his second wife
So a few phone calls and at least my ex was in her bedroom and there was some talking going on.
Fuck---I'm out of that one

Tuesday night and the ex boarder phones
OK, I'm ready for the sorry bit and the promise of return of some money---ha
"So Clyde, have you found a pair of high heeled shoes ?"
"Well no, but I'll have a look"------"Oh, yes, they are there"
"So could you send them on to me"
What am I supposed to say-----no, I'm masturbating over them----I'm gonna sell them to recover some of the losses----they will be here when you come back and that will be never.
No, I said that I'll pack them up and send them off by post pack on the weekend.

Oh fuck----leave me alone---

But the phone rings tonight
It's her
How long do I have to wait----yeah, you know the one
So she is working away from town----working in a country location that she knows I visit for work.
She wants to know when I'm gonna be there----
She is there for 4 weeks and back in the city for two weeks then back there again for 4 weeks
Yes, I'm going there-----but I'm going in the two weeks she is back in the city.
But then she tells me that she has been offered 12 months there----if she goes she is going to sell the house that the control guy lives in and she will be free of him
Could it happen
Could she really be with me in 12 months-----she is worth waiting for
There is a chance

Hey, my dog is female and she gives me no grief----my dog loves Ms I can wait----Ms I can wait loves my dog---loves my beach---loves my lifestyle

I'm betting on all of this fucking up-----but if I dont take that chance, I know that I'll regret it