CENSORSHIP

I must admit to having a fairly liberal view on what we should be able to say or see or do.
But having said that, I most certainly believe in censorship and the protection of children, animals and any adult of a diminished capacity.

I do believe in the freedoms---the freedom of the press, the freedom of religious expression and the equality of genders and races.

Australia has a fairly liberal standard of what can be shown or said in the electronic media (that's TV and Radio)---often only cersored by the time of the broadcast or telecast.
I believe that our standards are shared and accepted by most western nations although some may be a little more liberal.

Of course I will never believe that pornography should be available in any form that minors can access.

But tonight, I heard something on a local TV show and checked it out on line, that actually disturbed me.
It was not something that I thought could or would happen in a country with so much freedom and the rights to so much freedom entrenched in their laws.

In 2004 there was a live telecast of the Superbowl that stopped the nation in the USA and Canada---yes the Canadians love the game, or at least this season ending big game.
Sponsors pay millions of dollars to advertise duing the Superbowl and of course there is alway high class entertainment.
In 2004, part of the entertainment was Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson and you would have to be living under a rock, not to remember that there was a "costume malfunction" and one of Ms Jackson's ample breasts was shown to the world------look, go and search the net and you will find every other bit of Janet Jackson available for your viewing pleasure----but this was just a slip or a pre-planned slip, lasting a matter of seconds---blink and you missed it.
But this was on live television throughout the USA and Canada---so the broadcasting authorities in the USA received in excess of 540,000 complaints------yes, count the zeros---over half a million people in the US took time to register a complaint.
But that is only the US----there was another 50 people in Canada complained to the Canadian Broadcasting Standards Council----yes, that's right 50 and 49 of those were probably border hoppers on holiday from the US.

I have nothing left to say, but I have to wonder how many complaints there may have been if Justin had dropped his pants or if Janet had groped him.
I'm thinking that there is 540,000 phones on speed dial in the bible belt of the US just incase some girl in a blue dress gets her job back at the Whitehouse.

Get a life

HE'S HERE

The winner is ----AUSTRALIA

The wait is over

The Doomsdayers have nothing left to say
The Mormons can pack up and go home
The Christadelphians are going to have to rethink their "chosen ones" title
And no longer will the Vatican City be the centre of the Christian world.

Jesus is here
Well, not right here but he is in Queensland---our northern sunshine state.
Who would have thought
From my experience of Queensland, I doubted that they could find three wise men or a virgin but I guess that I was wrong.

Now apparently he has lived in my state--he was actually "born" here---ah, we have wise people and virgins----and he was married and has a couple of children---ah, right, Howard wanted him to experience a few things this time---but the marriage ended when he started having memories of his past life---and he has had another name----Alan.
ALAN--no wonder we didn't recognise him before----that would be just like HOWARD, to send him here under an assumed name, just in case we decided on nailing him up again but it looks like we passed the test.

And would you believe it---Mary has come with him---at least she came with her real name but for security sake, she used the surname of Luck---how appropriate and how lucky are we.

A report has said that the Anglican and Catholic churches are alarmed by the pair---well, why wouldn't they be---they haven't aligned themselves to either church, so the two major christian churches are out in the cold.
Jesus has bought a 40 acre property in rural Queensland and his Divine Truth followers have been buying up nearby blocks to be close to him.

Alan, sorry, Jesus has said that there has probably been a million people who have said that they are Jesus and most of them are in asylums.
Well people, our Jesus is not in an asylum, so I'm guessing that he might just be the one and only Alan, son of Howard

HYPOCRITICAL HOLIDAY

In Australia we no longer have school assemblies to sing our national anthem and salute our country's flag because we may offend those in our multicultural society who object to showing patriotism to this country.
Now don't jump on the "Muslims are taking over bandwagon". The protests and perceived offence have come from a multitude of people, including the indigenous Australian, who want their own flag.

But all of this has come after religious instruction has been banned in all but the church run schools.
That really does not offend me---I lost faith in my christian religion many years ago.
But, I have been a christian by convenience---I was raised in the Presbyterian church and even though I had ceased that association, I always claimed to be Catholic while I was in the Army
There was good reason for that. In the army camps out bush, those who didn't attend church services on Sundays had to work in kitchen duties, the protestant religions attended a service with-in the camp but the Catholics were transported into town and always had about three hours in the town.

Now that may be hypocritical but pretty moderate compared to a lot of people this weekend.
Those who have strayed from their christian faith, those who have never had a faith and those who protested that the faith was being taught in the State schools are all having a paid long weekend built on the christian faith.

I have yet to see any protesters on the street this weekend, pleading their case that their work place should be open for them to attend.

Happy Easter everyone---I guess you will just have to take the Christmas holidays and national patriotic holidays as well

LUCKY SUPERSTITION

It's funny that when things start to go wrong in life, we say that our luck has run out.
So how much luck do we get and when does it run out?.

Friends say that I am lucky in a lot of ways yet I fail to see their logic.

There is no logic in luck

I have always studied form guides for local harness racing and attended at every pre race qualifying trial that I could get to
I remember the first night that they raced at our new track---8 races and I backed every winner and 7 out of 8 at the corresponding interstate meeting---15 winners in 16races.
Of course at the next meeting, I increased my bets and backed 2 out of the 16 winners--giving back my winnings from the week before.

Yes, I suppose you would think I was lucky, but really, I am only persistent---
I realised years ago that gamblers must be prepared to lose every dollar that they bet and that you can't win every time you have a bet.

Like every thing in life---you can't win 'em all

There is no such thing as the balance of probabilities or Murphy's law---
I have been taking the same two sets of 8 numbers in our lotto for 20 years---I have had some wins but nothing really big.
Mathematically, my chances of winning are in the millions---but I keep on going

I have got two small dividends this week----they say that they come in threes---ha ha ha---who said that----I'm betting there is no third win.

Lightening never strikes twice---ha ha ha---a friend of mine from work won first prize in a State lottery---and three years later, shared first prize with a friend.

I guess that I'll never win a big one because a black cat crossed my path ten years ago and I walked under a ladder last week---at least I have never run over a China man.

Who made up all of these superstitions
And is luck only measured by winning money.

I think that I'm lucky that I have my health---I'm lucky that everyone who chooses to read by blog, takes the time to see what I think----I'm lucky that I have "met" some wonderful people on the Web.

I can do as I want in life because I have no family to think about or care about or be responsible to or for---is that lucky---or unlucky----or is it what I deserve.
I don't have a natural will--in that I have no family to naturally inherit my estate---but a friend of mine says that I should not make a will or I might die----
Ha ha ha---yes, I will die---but I'm not letting the Government or my ex-wife get my estate, so I do have a will--and that friends children get most of it

I feel lucky that I woke up this morning and saw the smiling face and wagging tail of a dog who depends on me and seems to be happy about the situation----oh, and she is in my will
I feel lucky that I have had nearly two years of retirement after 43 years of planning for it.

So my plan for tomorrow is to take a gamble on life---
I'm going to get out of bed---if I see a black cat, I'll let my dog chase it, if there is a crack in the path on the way to the beach, I'll probably tread on it, if there is a ladder I'll go around it or under it--whatever is easiest.
Oh, hell, it's the 13th---ha ha ha---I'll buy a lottery ticket

Hope I'm here tomorrow night to see your smiling faces

CUSTOMS

I really don't care what your customs and beliefs are.
And as long as they don't cause harm to man, woman, child or beast, I will defend your right to celebrate in any way that you want.

Religions of the world amuse me because they all believe that they are right and obviously, if they don't all come to the same conclusion, there is going to be a lot of disappointed people on "judgement" day.

If they are all so wonderful, so holy, so forgiving, so compassionate, then why do they think that it is just them who will get the big reward.

Just for the record, I don't believe that there is any great reward nor do I think there should be----well, not for those who get a fair chance at life---but it would be nice to think that there was seconds for those who got robbed a little early.

I have got to that age where I have attended a few funerals and the daily newspaper is likely to direct me to more.
It is funny that only good people die---well it seems that every service I have heard focuses on the goodness of a persons life.

I attended a funeral for a man in my ex-wife's family where everyone who spoke told of a good gentle, honest man---yet I know that he beat his wife, molested his three daughters and adopted his brother's war heroics and exaggerated an injury to increase his pension.
Yet I attended a funeral for a young girl from work who was hit by a bus on her way home. She was the sweetest kid that you could meet and lived for her family, her husband and her religion.
Her service was cold and so matter of fact that her death was god's will and that she would be back---even to the stage of telling her young husband not to worry because they would find him a new wife.
The things I learned from her funeral was that this "Christian" religion did not believe in cremation and did believe in reincarnation--not the soul but the body---on "the" day, they shall spring from their graves----gonna be some ugly sights if they are right.

Today I attended a Buddhist funeral/viewing for my mate's father-in-law.
There was ceremony, yet not a structured ceremony
There was laughter yet no one made a structured speech
There was customs to be dealt with.
There was chanting, yet it was recorded
There was candles and incense
And there was money

Money---yes money---the coffin was stuffed with money---but it wasn't real---you buy it in bundles with denominations from US dollars, British pounds, French francs--it's all photo copies. They actually remove the body from the coffin and fill it with "money", put him back in then pad it with "money"--give him some new wrapped clothes and a $2.00 watch and then cover him in in "money".
People approaching the coffin drop in a coin of real money (I wondered if I should make a wish) and there is a coin between his lips---his wife had to wash her eyes before she gazed on him
Once everyone has said their farewells, everyone in procession walks around the coffin three times---I waited for Simon to say that I should hop on one leg, but it didn't happen)

We all left to go to the family home where it was just food and laughter and nothing was said about the old bloke--
But it is not over yet
In a couple of days we go back and get his ashes---yes, they burn all of the fake money---and take his remains to a temple and place them in a wall for the dead.
The best bit about this process is that we have got a whole load of this "money" and we throw it from the car on the way to the temple----of course we will get arrested for littering.

Oh, and if we haven't done it right, he will haunt us tonight.

All of these customs and beliefs will give comfort to his family left behind him.
If they get that comfort, then it is a wonderful belief

Oh, and if you can spend that money Joe, let me know and I'll bring some with me.

If you get some comfort from your beliefs, then they must be right
Enjoy

NAKED HELP

Now I am the first to applaud anyone who comes up with a new idea for a business--or a new way to make an existing mundane occupation more exciting.

Like when one of those mass produced hamburger multi national franchise groups actually started putting beef in their burgers or a pizza maker actually uses pepperoni instead of some reconstituted crap pizza sausage.

But this week on local morning TV, there was a report on a new business in the USA--yep, really, in the USA---who would believe this.

A young lady has set up a business as a therapist.
Now I have found out since that she is not actually qualified, but her idea of how to make people feel relaxed and speak openly about their problems is certainly novel and has great merit.
I am sure that her clients would leave her sessions feeling a lot more satisfied that with a lot of other therapists.

Her idea is that she either starts the session naked or during the session, she takes her gear off.
Well, she would certainly get my attention and I would probably tell her my life story.

Now just for the sake of research, I did check her site.
Besides many photos of this young lady in varying states of undress, there were a few interesting statements.

1) Naked therapy allows, encourages and respects arousal in the therapeutic context.
OK, so sitting across the room from a naked young lady might get you aroused, but that is fine because it is therapeutic---
Yes, I've found that to be the case.

2) Traditional therapy forbids arousal, yet our world is saturated with arousal, and men aren't stupid.
Yes, I think saturated is a very good word.
Oh, and I've dated a girl or two in my day, who might not agree on the stupid bit.
Oh, and I want to know how the traditional therapists enforce that no arousal rule.

3) During these sessions, I use the power of arousal to help you gain more control over your life.
Well, I have doubts about being more in control when aroused.

You may find this hard to believe, but the majority of this young lady's clients are men--but she explains that more men need therapy and they are comfortable with her--but she does have some female clients.
Oh, and the clients can strip before or during the session themselves.
Hmm, was just thinking of all the bum prints on her leather couch---oh, and does she disinfect the couch between between sessions---or just hose it off.

Oh, and as an extra service, you can actually do your session on line---fancy that---you don't even have to be in the same country as some naked girl, while you are talking about your sex life.

Now you might think that this is a lot of crap---well, go and check it out--Sarah White, Naked Therapist.

Now not being one to miss an opportunity, I thought that being a very compassionate bloke and a good listener, I could start up something similar but with a twist.
Ms White seems to cater for the guys, so I thought that I could complement this service and cater for the ladies.
The twist---well, I always like to have people feel at ease, so in my service, the clients will be naked or can strip.

I will give my live on line address to anyone interested.

And remember--
I will respect arousal in the therapeutic context.

HOT

Got an e-mail today from a bored local housewife, 43, who was looking for some hot action!

So I sent her my ironing.

That’ll keep her busy for a while.