Free BBQ Days

Most of you have just had a 4 day weekend because of a Christian celebration but you didn't have to get a note from the local Godbotherers to show that you weren't just sacrificing a lamb on the BBQ and drinking more piss than a Priest after communion.

Now I was raised in a Christian religion---well so I thought til I read that us Presbyterians were Johnny come latelies and were origonally listed as heathens----thus the sacrifice on my hot plate.
Most of you have the same book in your house that you have never read from cover to cover and have no intention to ever do so. Ok, no stone throwing here, but I'm going to admit to actually reading it once and never having been so confused in my life--oh, except my wedding day----hmm, something else that changed my life.
Now I have no idea what to believe----not my ex wife, that's for sure

So we had last friday off because some Romans (hey, aren't they Catholic) nailed a bloke up on a cross because he was going around preaching about his belief ( note to Jehovas Witnesses )
Now this bloke supposedly forgave the Romans gathered under the cross (right, like I'm gonna do that--you drove nails through my hands you arseholes )
This poor bloke dies up on this cross so they take him down and stick him in a cave---he's dead, they dont bury him, or plug up any of the holes like they really do or embalm him----shit, they just stuck him in a cave.
So two days later, for some reason, someone goes to check on him, presumably to see if he has turned a shade of green, and the fucker has gone.
Now here is the big trick. Apparently he is out wandering around and gone to see his mates-----geez, that would frighten the shit out of you----man, lay down, your dead.
So thats why you got Monday off.

Lucky I'm here to explain this to you

Now, being a bit of an inquisitive bastart and liking things medieval and Celtic I went along to listen to a well respected authority on Celts---and here's the big story.
In Celtic mythology, they say that the bloke didn't die up on that cross and that his mates actually smuggled him and his girlfiend out of the country and eventually to Scotland. No, not the end of the story---supposedly from there, they shot through to France and their lineage (yes, he and MM were doing it)are the French royal family.
Just to add a little credence to this story, the holy grail is supposed to be buried under an extremely thick stone floor of a Scottish abbey----the Scots wont let anyone dig it up but some US scientists with Xray equipment say that something is there.

So no more holidays for you unless you confess your sins---and you might need a few days off for that

And 2008 years later, they reckon he's gonna make a comeback---shit, I reckon the whole world will take a holiday for that---another lamb on the BBQ