Wednesday, 12 March 2008


Ok, I was never gonna do this again.
Blame the booze or Steph from Muchadoaboutsumthin.
Now get accross there and check out the latest post from this talented lady
As per usual, this light of our lives has grasped a subject(among other things)that may hit a little below a belt or two.
This champion lady nearly went the technicolour yawn during a gob job (Oztralian-gob meaning mouth and job meaning--ah, you know)cos the offending erectile was in a state of cheesyness/grittiness and may have been inhabited by some crawling beasties.
Now you have to understand that if that is your Willy, you aint getting seconds and you could find your name in some publication---deservedly so.

Now this got me thinking

I am a great fan of getting (thank you, and you know who you are) and and even bigger fan of giving. Ya have to love that musky little morsel
And like all of the finest fare in life, the taste is so much better when served fresh.
I have dined at the open door and had doubts about the freshness and even had thoughts ---while almost gagging, does this chick wipe from the back to the front--and that is a no no if you are offering up your hors d'oeuvre on the menu.

OK, so we are there now

It used to be that you were chowing down within a coulple of hours of a scrub and cheese scrape but it is sooo much latr now and it is not polite to ask a prospective diner or meal, if they would like a little splash before dinner.

So here is what we need

We have the mints, sprays and little tabby thingies to hide the garlic prawns
Even aftershave comes in a pocketworthy spray
Underarmers are in smaller and smaller packs (dont try the aftershave--stings like all shit)
Now guys, we have an advantage here. You can get your willy out and wash it in the handbasin but I wouldnt get caught at it by some bikie or gay boy in the dunny of your local----although, you could get a headstart on the night.
Ladies, I cant see you with a leg up in the handbasin having a little splash---well, I can actually,(and I now want you) but you probably cant see it.

So why isnt tere a willy washer and fanny flusher in every public toilet?
(Sorry, if you are from the US, a fanny is a vagina, not a bum--and do you think us Oztralians gag when we hear about you kissing your kiddies on the fanny--no no no, not allowed in this fair land-----oh, and a beaver isnt a dam building rodent--yep, another vagina)

Now it we arent gonna get the washer or flusher we need kind of refresherator and I dont think that dipping sauce is a great option-----yes, I have heard of chocolate sauce-----we need some sort of spray or wipe.(no, dont try spray n wipe--takes the enamel off your teeth---trust me)
Something with a familiar taste. Yep, alcohol tasting (but not alcohol--it stings--yes I have, trust me)or strawberry or banana.

Whatever it is or whatever the taste, there is a big market out there, so get to it but remember my commission.

AND guys---nuts---balls---testicles---they need a scrub too

Happy munching---bloody pubes in the teeth

Maybe thats the last----Steph said they come in threes



Steph said...

Wet wipes!! That's the thing to use. You can buy small packs to carry around with you.

God but i'm clever!

Clyde said...

But God you are clever and well prepared.
Never gonna get a cheesy stick again


I nearly vomitted when reading this post! Good for you!!
Hey, we have enough here for a 3some!

Clyde said...

Doubt that I could keep up with either of you but I'll die trying.
Mind if I watch for a while ?


We could arrange that- bring a camera ( and snacks!)

Clyde said...

Ah, chocolate sauce and vodka


Did someone say chocolate???