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Monday, 17 March 2008

DOGS ARE SMARTER

We are the superior beings yeh, right

We think, we rationalise, we need , we want, we plan, we achieve
We have grown up in a guarded society where we dont want to let anyone see us fail
We just dont want to take a chance anymore

We are now egos
We worry about what everyone else thinks

When it comes to relationships we just dont know how to be spontaneous anymore

We really try to rationalise everything about a relationship
She is too good looking
He is out of my class
He is younger than me
I'm 20 years older than her
She earns more than me
His friends wont like me

We are defeated before we start and are looking for the end before the beginning

Some times a drunken fuck is just that
But other times it is that we have lost all of the inhibitions and have taken a chance. So if you do wake up with that "stranger" in the morning, you might just find that you have the start of something good. You might be able to carry on a conversation and walk hand in hand on a beach and heaven forbid, you might even introduce them to your friends.

I'm sure it wasnt this hard on our forefathers but their expectations were different. They expected to meet someone, get married and have children.
They met at dances and werent half full of rocket fuel.
They met at organisations like boy scouts and guides or participating in or watching sport. They were not egos

So we have developed over the years. Developed into what

So dogs?
Well your forefathers mongrel bred totally adored Lassie, never saw the vet, never went to the poodle parlour or obedience school, walked down the street and sniffed the but of the nearest Woofie and got it on.
Today your little designer bred Paris, goes to the vet twice a month, the doggie psycologist on referal from the obedience school, and has a bow tied in the topknot after a manacure, still sniffs buts and gets screwed by Brutus on the end of her lead.

So just who is smarter?

Is it just that dogs know that the sniffee or the sniffer is available and because there has been no growl bark or bite things just happened.

Now I know that you have walked down the street and spied that hottie and wondered if they were available and if they were interested.
From memory I thing that society frowns upon but sniffing----that only comes later.
So how do you humanise the doggy approach.

I reckon I'm on a winner here
You know those elastic band thingies we wear to save a whale or support sufferers of some nasty affliction--yep, you know---so I'm suggesting some multi striped band that says "I'm single, I'm available and I'm looking"
Now I dont suggest that two such wearers should get down to it on the street corner---you might upset your dog.
But if two wearers pass in the street, share a smile, the ice is broken and they can at least stop and speak.

You just never know where it will lead and it might just get past the egos

God dogs are smart

29 comments:

UBERMOUTH said...

'God dogs are smart'
That's because Dog spelled backwards IS God. :)

Yes, we complicate too many things and talk ourselves right out of the game.

Dogs have confidence.ever see a little scrap of a dog get his hackles up over a great big brute of one? HE doesn't think I am the right size of a tidbit for him, or I am going to get my ass kicked!
GLad to see that you are still writing.

Clyde said...

Uber
Yep, dogs are "go for it" animals.
Geez, just after I posted I saw my dog was licking her bits---another thing they can do.
Not that I really want to lick my bits--but I cant

UBERMOUTH said...

ALl men want to do that...
why do dogs lick thier balls?
Because they can
This is nice...like our secret blog, except where's blondie??????

UBERMOUTH said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Clyde said...

Uber
Maybe the world has blown up and we are the only two left---looks like some breeding to be done.
My bitch (female dog that is) doesnt have balls but she certainly likes to give her bits a good licking
Maybe blondie is having an "up herself" day

UBERMOUTH said...

LOL @ Blondie having an 'up herself' day!
Maybe we are the only two left- and what better two to have left to represent the human race- even if I am the devil.:)

UBERMOUTH said...

Oh you lil' perv- I just saw your av.
Do you know how to do them? I would kinda like that devil girl one... shame she didn't have red hair. :)

UBERMOUTH said...

Ooh, tell me what the comment you removed was? Was that your first troll comment?

Clyde said...

Uber
Are you stalking me---3 comments in 30 minutes
God my ex wife didnt speak to me that many times in a week.
Just played around with setting and ZAP, one Avatar.
Sorry, no Troll---I wouldnt delete---it was actually you with stutter fingers posting the same comment twice and I didnt want you to look like a dickhead to the rest of the world----but no one else is here

-eve- said...

I like this idea! Yes, for those who're looking, they should wear a band so everyone knows *although they might get a lot of unwanted attention then, in which case, they'd likely be hiding their band til they spotted someone they like*

Clyde said...

Eve
Nice to see you visiting
Just an idea for an "ice breaker"
And you can always say that you are not interested
There could be all sorts of colour combinations for under 30s, over 30s, Gay, Bi, Open, Just looking for a quickie----what ever
Maybe I should patent it before it takes off

-eve- said...

Heheheh! Yes... it's a bit like those 'carrots' or 'hearts' you put beside your id on dating sites... so you'd bring dating into the real world *but if it could work, there'd always be those people who'd rather not play along, and would want you to approach them, just to see if you would ;- )*

Clyde said...

Eve
I've never played on the dating sites---but carrots or hearts--
I can understand hearts but carrots?
Pray tell what you could do with an extra carrot ?

UBERMOUTH said...

Oh how sweet of you.Yes, I am a bit of a dick head. :)

Spiky Zora Jones said...

ha...this is a fun post. Cats...cats. Cats are smarter. There are leash laws for dogs, but for cats...nope. You know why? They do what the fuck they want.

They want sex...they will call you, if not they just walk away and do as they like.

When I was on the prowl...it would had been nice to know which pussy or cock was on the look out for just sex and which was looking for a relationship...it would save so much time.

You know what they say about spontaneous relationships...they are just a heart break away.

Better to rationalize and go with the odds of first impression...he or she is an L7 or round and ready to bounce on.

Am I superficial...eh, what else do I have to go with. It's like American Idol...you have a minute and 20 seconds to WOW me and I you.

That's why I carry long neck bottled beer...I can deep throat it and suck the cap off in a wink. ha! Meow!

Clyde said...

Spiky Z
Now who could call you superficial

Oooh, you do have to love a girl who can deep throat a long neck but total infatuation comes into play when she can suck that cap off.
Is a trip to Australia on your menu?

Bag said...

Pet cats and dogs have a great life in this day and age. Providing they have good masters/mistresses of course.

I'm just jealous though because I can't lick my own balls and I have to go out and earn my food.

Clyde said...

Bag
There is nothing like a good mistress.
I'm not really sure that I want to be able to lick my own balls---maybe I'll leave that to my mistress

-eve- said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gledwood said...

Yeah but hamsters are superior.

What does your teeshirt mean? That you only eat pussy?

Clyde said...

Gledwood
No, not only but that is definitely my side of the street

Fanny F said...

Sign me up for one of the coloured bands, Clyde.

Beats our local Woolworths. Apparently if you put your bananas upright in the trolley it means you are available. I took it further and carried the erect banana around in my bag down the street ... it didn't result in any liaisons.

Clyde said...

Fanny
Maybe you should try eating that very large banana with large bites out in the street---even licking it like an icecream.

I'll have to get working on those wrist bands---there has to be something in-between alcohol fuled night clubs and green tea at the senior cits

Steph said...

Well I always considered myself to be a bit of a bitch, so I guess that makes me smart too :P

Clyde said...

Steph
I've always thought of you as smart.----so does that make you a bitch ?
Pat your tummy for you

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Dogs are brilliant creatures. Limber too...sure wish I were that limber. Bet The Peanut King does too...;)

And your statement....
"They expected to meet someone, get married and have children.".

Sometimes life doesn't always turn out exactly the way you planned it....but then sometimes, that only makes life BETTER. ;)

Clyde said...

Hi Stacy
Have you noticed how dogs set out to embarrass you ?
Take them for a walk out in public and they wont poop until there is someone else close to you or a small child to point it out to their mother
Ya have to love a limber woman

UBERMOUTH said...

Who are all these people and where di they come from?
Post another one you lazy bugger.

Clyde said...

Uber
Build it and they will come
Me, post again-- what about you ?
Where the hell have you been
Sexual encounters again ?