Friday, 20 February 2009


My doctor referred me to a urologist.

To my surprise, the urologist was a female, beautiful, and unbelievably sexy looking.

She told me that I have to stop masturbating.

I asked her why.

She said, 'Because I am trying to examine you.'


Anonymous said...

Haha! Good one :)

I heard that masterbation causes cancer....but then so does most things these days...

Barlinnie said...

Sweey jaysus.. did you not know that every time god catches you masturbating, a new tenement block is built in Clydebank?

Filthy wee bastard so.

Kathryn said...

That's a good kneeslapper. My favorite is: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef.

Clyde said...


My God, now I'm gonna get cancer besides going bling and growing hair on the palms of my hand

Geez, I'm a mess

Clyde said...

Ah, but Jimmy
I turn my back so he cant see me.
Just like he cant see those Priests and choir boys.
Hey, the Bank could do with a new tenement block

Clyde said...


Or what is the difference between a vitamin and a hormone ?

You cant hear a vitamin.

Boom boom

Anonymous said...

How do you get a witch pregnant?

You fuck her...

Thank you and good night.

Clyde said...


Isn't that---"You hocus pokem"

Ms Scarlet said...

How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
When his hand caught fire.

Clyde said...


I think that was me as a teenager

MommyHeadache said...

Sound like a fussy one. I mean, come on, you left her with a pearl necklace didn't you?

compulsively yours...for now said...

I heard or read actually that masturbation was good for ya, so keep it up clyde it does a body and mind good.

Spiky Zora Jones said...

clyde: Honey, stop that.

I know a guy (here at work) that went blind from...weel, he called it jacking off. I mean he had the hardest time getting around. When he comes into my office he...


He would accidently cups my boobs and sometimes my rear...I swear he's as blind as a bat. Poor fella and it was mastrabating.

Funny though, I did see him driving his car home the other day after work. He must be getting the used to the blindness...

Ciao sweetie.


Rod told me good oneee the other night.....
A misogynist hates every bone in a woman's body except his.

I guess they even have their own jokes now.

Loved yours btw.

Clyde said...


A guy always likes to leave a lady with a present.


Oh, I'm sure that it is not bad for you----but I much prefer it when someone gives me a hand

Clyde said...

Ah Miss Jones

I'm sure that you would make things hard for me.
Sometimes you do need to use your hands to find the shape of things and you do have an amazing shape


I know a misogynist joke-----
But he has now left the blogesphere so we wont talk about him

compulsively yours...for now said...

Clyde I totally agree, the party is so much more fun when there is more than one, and it rhymes too.

Clyde said...

Ah, but when the freindship cupboard is bare
Why not touch yourself THERE