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Tuesday, 9 December 2008

BURNT

How many of us can say that they haven't been burnt in a relationship or two during their life.

Geez, I've lost a house, block of land, a car, money, furniture and worst of all, a dog.
But hey, what the hell, you keep on trying
I've got all of those things again.------but don't try to take my dog.

But what I have lost in my life is nothing compared to a news story breaking in my city-----it gives a totally new meaning to being burt.

Now let me say first up----I have never---yep, never cheated on anyone in a relationship
Relationships deserve to fail if there is not at least honesty holding them together.

So here is the story
A woman was arrested after a fire nearly totally destroyed a house that she was living in with her husband and two teenage children.
Her husband suffered burns to 80% of his body----------the two teenagers were not seriously hurt.

Of course it is natural to jump to conclusions-----god, she was trying to kill her husband in a house fire-----geez, was she trying to kill the kids too.

But today the rest of the story surfaced
She found out that he was cheating on her.
Her revenge was to pour methylated spirits on his testicles (nuts, balls) and set fire to them while he slept.
Of course he woke up----having your nuts on fire will do that----he jumped up and knocked over the container of metho and was enveloped in the resulting flames which spread through the house.

Now I doubt that I will every cheat in my life-----I have this streak in me called honesty and conscience.
But just in case, I'm moving all flammable liquids out of the house and sleeping with a fire extinguisher under my bed

19 comments:

Mark said...

Bit of a balls up. Up in flames that is.

bunny said...

Talk about getting burned...

I've never cheated on anyone and I wouldn't stand by someone who cheated on me.

There should be two people in a relationship, not three or four.

The guilt would kill me.

EmmaK said...

oh crikey
It would probably have been easier to just change the lock. I can see why she did it but I'd never do something like that simply because there is no way on earth I am ever going to end up in prison. Prisoner Cell Block H was grim and I imagine reality is 100 times worse.

Fanny F said...

If you don't cheat, there's no need to worry. But just in case, you'd better hide all prawns, nail polish, and super glue as they are all good instruments of revenge too.

Clyde said...

Mark

Yep, but I think that's the leasy of his worries with 80% burns--but watch out for vengeful women--hey, dont cheat

Bunny

I dont think I have to worry about the guilt, I just couldn't do it--you are either in a relationship or you are not.

Emma

But I'm sure the girls in the cell block would love new meat.

Her actions were a bit drastic--I guess she was thinking that she would scald his cheating weapon

Fanny

Geez, you sound like you have done a life time of plotting just in case some one crosses the line---but why would they need the rest when they have the best

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Um...GREAT BALLS OF FIRE! literally huh?

If they cheat...just walk away, I say. How is it you can set someones's balls on fire...Would he be aable to set her snatch on fire if it was reversed? How is it thata love involves violence?

I knew a guy...a friend that came back the Philippines. He was a Marine. he said he had a g/f that he was seeing. She was a hooker abd while she worked he was seeing another girl.

The hooker didn't take kindly to being cheated on and one morning he woke with her sitting on his lower legs with a butterfly knife unresting under his balls. He said he begged her notto do that. He said he loved her and would not ever cheat again. She saw his tears and believed him. He then ran to the USS What-ever and stayed there, never leaving the ship till it was time to come back to the states.

He told me that story and I've always had one question...what the hell is a butterfly knife?

Just asking.

Ciao Clyde baby...you have a fabulous day. :D
hey where my sweetie...jade. I miss her.

Clyde said...

Miss Jones
I have no doubt that you are too honest to cheat, but I would keep well waxed just in case.
I agree----who needs revenge---just walk away.
A butterfly knife is also called a Balisong----it is a pocket type knife with two handles that cover the blade when folded up.
Good for removing testicles

UBERMOUTH said...

Cheaters are the worst scum in the world. But this woman was loco.

Clyde said...

Uber
Hey, I agree on the cheaters---
But the punishment has to fit the crime---
The thing with cheater is that they think the crime is getting caught----usually big egos

phishez said...

Wow. That's a tad extreme. I've never been in a relationship long/deeply enough to care if I got cheated on, and I have never cheated myself.

But still.. rant, rave, scream. Burn his clothes and dresser drawer if you must. But that's about the limit of it.

Clyde said...

Phish
Yep, roasting his nuts does seem a little over the top---
I cant believe that some guy hasnt had you in a long term relationship---geez---strange blokes where you live.
But I cant see the use in yelling and screaming or damaging property--Just settle it----fuck off, you're out of here---oh, and I fucked your best mate

bunny said...

You either are or you're not...Exactly.

And if you're cheating, then you're clearly not.

Though unfortunately the other person finds that out the hard way.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

"but don't try to take my dog"

You can take my house, my car...whatever else you want but I will fight you tooth and nail over my dogs. I'd rather be homeless than give up my dogs, dammit.

Anonymous said...

haha. You wouldn't be the first to fuck a best mate of mine. That has only happened once.

Phish

Clyde said...

Stacy
I think my ex knew that she could really hurt me by taking my dog.
It amazed me that I saw her three years later and the pooch still wouldnt leave my side when she called her.

Phish
If your best mate looks anything like you, I'll be in it----oh, unless I'm in a relationship

UBERMOUTH said...

I think the best punishment is to bee completely and swiftly cut out of your life.

Clyde said...

Uber
That's the one
Not have your life as it was

Karen ^..^ said...

Wow. Quite a story.

I used to threaten my ex that if he cheated on me I'd super glue his penis to his leg. But when it happened, all I did was kick him out. I don't want to be with a cheating pig. I've never cheated and I never will. No sense in it.

My ex took my dog when he left. Yeah, I know that heartbreak.

Burning someone's balls.... A great statement, I suppose, but not very practical, as it turns out...

Clyde said...

Karen

I think in the end---it's over so just get rid of them.
Super gluing his dick to his leg could have been entertaining--especially if he was flacid when you did it---then go out of your way to arouse him---ha