Thursday, 3 June 2010


OK, that's what I've been doing.
Geez, you're off line for a few weeks and people start reading the obituaries and start lining up for their share of your porn collection.

Well, sorry kids but I'm still here
I haven't got anything to say other than you should never buy an Acer computer.

Less than 12 months old and after cleaning it's own litter box of all records it shut itself down without even a fuck you Clyde----
And the Guarantee service agents in each State of Australia have been amalgamated to one centralised agent in another state.

So after that first phone call with that automated answering service---you are number 47 in the cue---which lasted 84 minutes, they offer to email me a shipping slip so that I can send this heap of shit back to them.
Now, can you see what's wrong with that---no, well they couldn't---email me a slip--hey, my computer is stuffed so I don't have email access

"Ok sir, we will Fax it to you"----ha, I don't have access to a fax---"oh, I guess we could post it to you"----yep, that will work---but before you run away, I have to ask about the battery in this thing---it wont hold a charge for any longer that 3 minutes, which isn't quite long enough when I want to watch porn in bed---"OK sir, send the battery with the computer and we will replace it."

I doubt that the had used the postage system before cos it took 5 days for the shipping slip to get here.

Ok, the rest of the story is as bad and boring as the first bit but suffice it to say, all up, I was off line for four weeks and I missed you all.
Oh, I still cant watch porn in bed because they forgot to send the battery back---ha, and when they did, it was my old battery.

Yes, get yourself an Acer

I need another drink


savannah said...

welcome back, sugar! xoxoxo

mapstew said...

About feckin' time! I'm sick of drinkin' on me own! And it's YOUR round pal!


The Invisible Seductress said...

So nice to have you back!!! You are a big slice of Awesome!!

Clyde said...

Thank you sweatheart---hope I can get back into it

Clyde said...

Look, I've never missed a shout yet and I'm not about to now---geez, $1300 for the fares is a bit rich

Clyde said...

Ooh, now I feel all warm again

Scarlet Blue said...

Hello! I wondered where you had got to!
I have an old laptop... the battery lasts about two minutes... I'm always plugged in and charging.

Fanny said...

I missed you.

My battery is the same - I have to plug in my laptop when I watch porn in bed.

I wish they made plug-in Rabbit vibrators because the batteries keep going flat in them too, when I watch porn in bed.

Clyde said...

Miss Scarlet
I'm almost used to the being plugged in but having my records dumped twice pissed me off---even took the hard drive out to get it scanned and there was nothing---now a new hard drive and hopefully new battery

Clyde said...

Ah, the lovely Fanny
Well I suppose I could offer to join you and maybe we wouldn't need the porn or the rabbit

Sister Christian said...

Good to have you back!! Sorry to hear about your lack of porn. That must seriously suck. Also, sending back your old battery is ridiculous! I now know never to trust anything Acer.
P.S. Yay you're back!

Clyde said...

Oh, now I feel good---Sister Deb is glad to see me back---I feel wanted ---and by a top Canadian babe.
Hey, everything is working and have decided on an external hard drive back up and that I'll buy a Toshiba if this thing plays up again

Just telling it like it is said...

Shew after all that I need another drink!! I hope you have Vanguard phone service or lease you might be up a creek! I hate to be the bearer of bad about I tell you I am in my birthday suit writing this...better?

Clyde said...

Now there's an image I could live with forever

Just telling it like it is said...

Awe...your so sweet! Still in birthday suit...I have no clothes

Clyde said...

I want the photos---you have my email, I want the photos

Dutch donut girl said...

Hey, I watch porn in bed, too!
What a coincidence.
Glad you're back.

Clyde said...

I cant believe that
Such a sweet innocent young girl, watching porn----hmm, Dutch porn--must look it up

Marnie said...

Thanks for stopping by Clyde. Happy blogging!

Clyde said...

It was an interesting read.
Pop back sometime

steveroni said...

Never had an ACER--someone told me once, "Don't ever buy an ACER". I thought he was talking about a small city-ranch.

As for porn...I do not watch that either--boy, am I a wet rag, or what?
Oh! I PERFORM in porn, but don't watch it. Is that better?
--If so, then to lie is better than to tell the truth--grin!

First time here, I find your blog not only amusing, but awesomely GoooooD..even philosophically stimulating. (big words, for me--grin!)