Tuesday, 6 October 2009


You just have to love statistics
Who the hell surveys all of these things

But sometimes, when you can run two of them together, they do create some interest, or raise another question.

1. The average person farts 14 times per day

Now, I'm a bloke and I've gotta say that some days I know that I'm up on that average but I'm sure that most days I don't reach the average.
Should I go to the doctor and tell him that my fluffer valve is not operating the requisite number of times each day or just eat more fibre and try to catch up.
OK, more baked beans for me----so

2. The average person laughs 15 times per day.

Well OK, if you are farting 14 times, there has to be a few that you chuckle about---the one in the elevator at work just before you get out.
But are you laughing at every fart and if you are, well that's only 14 so what is number 15----was it that over productive fart that you really don't count as a fart---more like a whoops.
And if you are not chuckling about your farts---well what is so fucking funny 15 times a day

I'm just getting a chuckle out of thinking about these little blokes with clipboards, running around collecting all of this information.

So next time you hit the dunny (toilet---bloody English) and there is some bloke there with a clipboard, don't worry, he is only the statistics collector


Sister Christian said...

I don't think I fart 14 times a day...unless the unacknowledged ones during sleep count..?
The people who actually decide to organize these types of statistics worry me. Maybe they were just a bunch of guys drinkin beers askin each other, "Dude, how many times you fart a day?" and then they decided to make it this whole venture on counting other people's farts.
Quite the job. Do they wear biohazard suits?
I think I laugh more than 15 times a day. I have an odd sense of humour. My Geography teacher gave me a dirty look when he mentioned the chick who died at University of Toronto cause she was drinkin, chasing ghosts and leaping off various roofs.
But seriously, how could you NOT laugh at that?

Clyde said...

Yep, I think I would laugh ---
Hmm, forgot about those sleeping farts or that first thing in the morning turn over fart---geez, they mount up.
Yep, I have to wonder about the data collectors----probably gonna add an extra laugh to my tally when I see a little guy with a clip board

Shelly Rayedeane said...

I wouldn't so much worry about how many times a person farts as much as I'd worry about the person who counts their daily farts to try to fit in with what some statistic so they could feel average. Lol.

I would, however, love to create a false statistic just to see how many people I could get to react because I am a meanie.

Swine flu, anyone?

Clyde said...

I've never worried about "average"--being avove or below---and I'm not counting unless there is some good medical reason I should.
Na, you can keep your pig virus

*s* said...

I think I laugh way more than that, the comment. I love my legumes.

Clyde said...

I've been told that you have a lovely pair of legumes.
And I reckon I've seen it in print somewhere that you may pass a little wind occasionally----a fine thing for a latdee

MommyHeadache said...

I fart less than 14 times per day and laugh more than 15. I read once that the average male takes 2 mins to ejaculate after penetration. Sad so sad. I did also wonder how they did that particular 'survey'!

Bo Bo said...


Clyde said...

Thought you might be a chuckler
Geez, 2 minutes---oh, hang on---2 minutes----so what have I been doing long---just fucking around for 30 minutes---
Must Correct that

Clyde said...

You arsehole---they let you out again.
Now make sure that they are over the age----and the age isn't 12


I have not *popped off* 14 times in my life.

Clyde said...

Take the fibre Uber---take the fibre

Shelly Rayedeane said...

Ouch! You're making me keep the damn pig?

I wonder how many times pigs fart in a day?

Barlinnie said...

Girls tend to fart when they laugh... not to mention sneeze, cough, run, or bend over.

Not that I've counted of course.

Clyde said...

You've got the pig
Count the farts

Clyde said...

Of all the comments on any post, I am glad to see a phoenix rise from the ashes.
Keep on counting my friend