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Thursday, 3 September 2009

BONKING RELIGION




You may have realised before that I am not a great fan of the Catholic Church interfering with marriages and giving advice on the hows, whys, whens and wheres of sex.
Their greatest weapon over the centuries has been guilt and the number of unwanted children brought into this world because of their edicts on contraception and abortion, could populate a small country.

But NOW---now they are trying a new one.
Now I reckon this one is trying to get you to think of GOD more often (more often than never in my case)
I haven't heard of it before or anywhere else before, so it might not be a new ruling of the Papal Father----ooh, I know the jargon---not bad for a lapsed Presbyterian.

The Catholic Church in Britain has said that good Catholics should pray before sex---OK, well I'm used to begging, but praying ----and why the Brits
Do they figure that the Brits are having more sex than saying prayers---geez, I don't know what the deal is.
And what would the prayer be----what are you going to say ?
I'm thinking that it could be something like saying grace---"May we be thankful for what we are about to receive"

OK, it's got me beaten as to what the church could be thinking about but I for one congratulate the Catholics and would like to see this edict come to my country.
Why ?
Hey, anything that can get a good Catholic girl down on her knees has to be a good thing.

Oh, and thank you Michelle---I think I stole the photo from you

18 comments:

Jimmy Bastard said...

Jaysus Joanie, macaroni... you'se are definitely on your way to hell for that one.

Thank the lord that no such place exists.

By the way... when you say 'Brits' that obviously excludes the Scots and the Irish?

Clyde said...

Jimmy
I've been to hell but I divorced Satan and made a comeback
Hey, when have you ever seen a report that says Britain which has anything to so with Scotland, Ireland or Wales----it's those low landers
Jebus, now I've offended the English besides the Catholics
Hey, did you know that the Church of England is a Catholic religion ?

-eve- said...

Heheh, that's a good one :-) I think the concept of praying before sex is to teach one to count one's blessings ;-)

Clyde said...

Oh Eve
I have no doubt it's a blessing---a blessing that I have quite often given thanks for-----I have actually heard the Lord's name called on many occasions
And as I've said, I'm not above begging.
But I can't believe that the worlds most powerful christian religion should be worrying itself about people pre or post coital habits.
I will never believe that ones devoutness should ever interfere with ones enjoyment of a very natural human pleasure.
We were built this way for a reason and we would not be here if out parents did not indulge in those pleasures----
Yep, sorry, your parents had sex and probably still do and probably do it for the enjoyment

Spiky Zora Jones said...

clyde: i'm a good catholic girl...yep, I am. I had the CCD classes and did my first holy communion and conformation. I used to go every week to confession. I got to a point where I started making up sins. Competing with all the others sinners was such stress.

But praying before sex...WOT!

*sign of the cross*

Thank you father for this cock I am about to receive. May he make me climax 3 or 4 times and may my husband never find out that I cheated on him. Er, M'kay.

And it would really piss me off if someone didn't pray..."thank you god for this muff I'm about to eat." hehehe

clyde...I usually cry out to god while havinmg sex...is that good enough. yeah, I'm one of them girls...Oh GOD...oh GOD...OOOOHHHH GGGGOOOODDDDD!

I'm ahead of my time...woo!

clyde you had me on my knees with...'let us pray' or was that the sound of your zipper being zipped down. hehehe

ciao honey. xxx

mapstew said...

Like the Spiky, it's usually at the climax when I praise the lord, "Jesus fuck jesus god jesus jesus fuckin hell god oh jesus" etc. Does that count?

:¬)

Clyde said...

Ah Miss Jones
I had no doubt that you were a good Catholic girl and had spent a lot of time on your knees calling for the Lord.
Oh, and God, thank you that muff that I would love to eat---and can I get thighs with that

Clyde said...

Stew
I think that you should always give thanks to someone.
If you think it should be your God or his son, that's fine
I actually like to call out the name of the lady----oh, as long as I know it

Spiky Zora Jones said...

clyde: would yu like those thighs seperated?

hehehe...realy though, I used to be a good Catholic girl till I studied religions and the Vatican...it's a bussiness. they don't care about us.

excommunication...fuck them, I excommunicate them.

I know there are priests and nuns who want to do good...the church has to change. And if there is a god...he is going to be real pissed on how they ran things.

I know too much about the Vatican and the history of the Catholic church and of th pope now.

End of vent.
sorry...hehehe

later clyde. xxx

Clyde said...

Miss Jones
The Church of Rome does generate an income akin to the largest corporations and do seem too busy, with all of their pomp, to worry about the spiritual wellbeing of any one.
If there is a God and there was a Jesus, weren't the Romans the ones to crucify him----but then they took over his business----hmmm, early Mafia----and now they make (and break) the rules.

Oh, I'll take my thighs as they come.

UBERMOUTH said...

LOL I can see why women would need to pray before having sex with Brit men.

Clyde said...

Uber
You are so unkind----although, you are only talking about the English

Sojourner said...

Well, I won't give an opinion about this 'cause I'm not a religious girl (yawn)... albeit I'm spiritual... yes. Anyway..., the comments above where just hilarious! lol! :D

About the image, I didn't paint it so... you didn't steal it from me. (:

Clyde said...

Michelle
You just did give an opinion---you're speachless

Sister Christian said...

Haha! "Anything that can get a good Catholic girl on her knees has to be a good thing." A great quote, indeed.
I've never heard of this rule before, but I think it's pretty ridiculous. Praying before sex? That's gotta be the biggest turn off. Maybe they don't want overpopulation? I heard England is like crazy populated right now, so maybe the Nazi Pope is trying to control it?
As long as he's not sending people into gas chambers...

Clyde said...

Ah Sister, forgive me for I have sinned---
And I will continue to sin if these are the rules---
Hey, I'm not even Catholic and I feel sorry for them.
Yep, I can see it now---both at the height of excitement and she drops to her knees to pray---I'm sure she would be mumbling
Good to see you Deb

UBERMOUTH said...

LOL @ how casually I am called unkind.
Yeah, kinda. :)

Clyde said...

Uber
Was it that you were talking from experience.
You are not usually unkind without reason--
Hey, I cant see you praying for much---just go and get it