The Global Facts ...
At Any Given Moment:
79,876,301 people are engaged in intercourse right now.
58,704,827 are kissing.
37,490,625 are relaxing after having sex.
1 lonely bugger is reading blog posts.
You hang in there sunshine!
Swirls of nonsense mixed with nuggets of absurdity
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I guess maybe when I dance in a beam of sun I COULD be construed as crazy.
But maybe YOU are crazy because you don't.
What do we miss each day as we speed t...
7 years ago
25 comments:
I knew I was missing out on something...
Sx
...and the percentage of people sitting on a glesga rangers lavvy seat with no troosers on, reading the sports pages and eating a toasty piece would be what?
Also taking into account that I'm wearing a funny hat, one sock, I have Daniel O'Donnell blaring in the background, and a missus being sick through the drink.
The odds have got to be worth a punt at let's say....10 billion to 1?
Miss Blue
My sweet, I am guessing you are only missing out on what you cant be bothered participating in
Ah Jimmy
Are we counting Rangers supporters as average people in this world ?
NEVER
As for you, well my big mate, you are just on a wee green and white leave of absence
Performance will resume by the end of the week
I wish I was one of those 79,876,301, I am so bored right now. I want a job that isn't in a cube!
hahahaaha Good post.Funny guy.
Ah beautiful Bunny
Cubes are a little demoralising---but I keep telling people to treat them like an office----speak up, fart----care factor zero----it's your space and they can hear---thats their problem
sorry, that was 79,876,302----but I'm now reading blogs
Hey Uber
It was a night where I wasnt the one guy
Does that mean that only 46% of people relax after sex? What do the others do?
They go home Fanny, they go home.
why am i always on the outside looking in?
You forgot the couple even sadder than the lonely blogger who attached a dildo to a saber saw and post-coitally ended up in the ER. Warning: don't try this at home.
Thanks for thinking of me, Clyde :(
Fanny
Personally, I was having a cigarette before going back for seconds
So why did you get up and grab the champagne and orange chocolate ?
I was ready and you weren't here.
Stew
Why would you go home----there is seconds to be had
Emily
It's because you are a pervert
Now come inside and get back into bed----wehave business to take care of.
Emma
Well, the were actually having sex----a little adventurous but sex.
Yep, never take the power tools to bed----it's a bastard getting the pubes out of your router
Jen
Geez sweets, I thought you were in the doing or relaxing group.
Time to get those knees apart
Clyde sweetie...boo, I'm one lonely bugger reading this blog post...but I've had sex...woo hoo
I had veggeies for lunch and wha-hey...there was a huge cucumber left.
Lucky 0me. hehehe.
Cause I was still hungry. What did you think I was going to do with it?????
OH MY!
You are naughty...come here so I can spank you. :D
Ciao sweetie.
.....faints.....
Oh, so that's where you went. I thought you wanted to avoid a "saw your own arm off" morning wake up.
Yer yer Toni
When have to ever been the lonely one-----geez, even the vegetables aren't safe around you.
Ok, I'm gonna bend over one last time-----then lady, it's your turn
Jen
Hey dont faint honey---you know what guys are like when you pass out----hey, as long as the body is warm
OOOH, Fanny
I aint sawing any arm off----I'm ready for Fanny for breakfasy, Fanny for lunch and I'm cooking roast beef for dinner for you to get your strength up
Beef ... goody. I need a bit of meat.
Fanny
I hope you like your meat well done.
Oh, could you pick me up a new toothbrush---I cant keep using yours
New toothbrush? Sure honey! And remember for next time, I keep the XL condoms in the right hand drawer.
Damn... I'm one of the lonely blog readers.
*sigh*
It's been much too long...
Fanny
That's fine
I always carry my own
Then I know you haven't been pin pricking them
Ponita
I've heard of complaints for being too short but never too long
Everyone to her own
Oh, no, I haven't had complaints.
Goldie Locks said it was just right
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