WANKERS WANTED

Jebus, I said I wouldn't post very often but now two in two days.---Prolific, that's the word.
But when the local newspaper gives you blog fodder, you just have to share.

There it is in the paper---there is a shortage of sperm donors for local fertility clinics. This has occured since it became standard practice to identify the donors---yep, who wants to be indentified as a wanker.

You have to love this bit---The clinical director said that they now only had a "handful" of donors.-----yes Mr / Ms Director, that's how they do it.
Now they are forced to tell women to bring their own----what next--a BYO sperm bank.

Here is the big worry---"The director is concerned that women who cannot find a donor, could source sperm in other ways and inseminate themselves"----heaven forbid, they are gonna go out and get a root-----geez, is that radical.

Now come on folks, this isn't funny
There are single women out there who dont want to part the knees to allow access to a spitting meat sausage but would love to be inseminated via a turkey baster.---hey, its their choice. And who can blame them when you know that once that snake is out from behind the zipper, it wants a dip in every orifice of the female form.
And there are married couples out there and the guy's taddies are doing backstroke so they need a bit of a hand----there it is---hand again.

So here's the deal.
All of you blokes who like to give the snake a bit of a vigorous shake and are siphoning your taddies down the dunny drain or wiping them off on your mother's curtains, why dont you go down to the wanking room of the local fertility clinic and deposit a little donation in the provided cup.
Now I dont have any experience here but I'm sure that they provide you with a selection of appropriate magazines or maybe a film or two (No, not Lassie comes home, you pervert).
I don't think that the nurse will give you a hand, but you can always ask---if you get a yes to that, please let me know.

So get out there and wank for the good of the world. Your Mother will be proud.

Oh, you dont try to hit the cup on the table---hold it close and drain the last drop.

I think they actually pay you to wank.
If you really think that it's a sin, put the fee in the plate on Sunday---dont get it confused---wank in the cup, money in the plate

Girls---if you dont want to swallow, maybe you could dash down to the bank and spit in the cup.

PS:--Just a thought---maybe when you give blood, they can have a little milking machine thingy and take a little milky donation----geez, that could raise your blood pressure