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Tuesday, 8 July 2008

USE BY DATE

Geez, what a shock.

So I wake up this morning---no no, that's not the shock------so as per usual, I listen to the news before I spring out of bed---oh, ok, it was a crawl.

Anyways, I'm listening to the news and there it is----men have a biological clock.

Well, who knew

So what they are saying is that around 35 years old, men are at an age when things start going stale.

Now I wanna know how this works.
So are they doing sperm counts----hey, and they intrigue me.
How do they do them ?
Yeh, I know, you have to wank in a cup and hand it to the nurse. But what happens then.
Is it like counting the sheep flock---do they get a little dog to chase them through a gate and a little bloke is there counting them----yep, that's gotta be it.

But some blokes start of with a very big sperm count and others very low----so how are they working out that the counts are falling at an age.
Do we have to wank in the cup once a year for 20 years for comparison sake or is there a changing percentage of the little swimmers doing backstroke.

Any how, they are saying things start to happen at an age.

And then they went on to say that in some countries, the sperm banks wont accept donations from guys over 45. Geez, there is gonna be an excess of stale old jism looking for a place to go-----oh, hang on, it's still mainly Lecithin---
Leciwhat--ok, it helps with arthritis, fat metabolism, improved memory and---ok---see my Owner Operator post.

So, back to it.
Looks like guys have a use by date

Ok, I know that you are gonna say that there are all these old guys in Hollywood pumping out kids from their 24th wife.
But that is now fraught with its own dangers
They are saying that old sperm is responsible for miscarriages and birth defects

Now, they didn't say anything about frozen sperm----so I'm guessing that's ok.
And frozen eggs are ok
And there have been frozen embryos

So, if you are thinking about breeding a little later in life, you had better make room along side the steaks in the freezer.

Not sure I want to hear tomorrows news

34 comments:

Coconut said...

Hmm, that's interesting. I've also heard guys have a monthly cycle where their hormone levels go up. Like women, without the bleeding. I always knew some men were on their periods!

UBERMOUTH said...

Men have biological clocks that are in keeeping with a woman's.
Men produce less viable sperm after the age of 30 and it decreases every year. MOst men after 45 are not able to impregnate women, but are unaware of this....but I am happy to let them know, because I am helpful, like that! :)

oestrebunny said...

Well it makes sense really. Nature dictates that the older the beast the less successful the parent.

Fanny F said...

Don't mistake the little containers in the freezer for frozen egg whites.

Clyde said...

Coco
Male hormone levels going up---god, we are horn all of the time.
But, you maybe right---I've known some moody bastards in my life.
I dont do moody



Uber
Of course you would tell them---you just like to fuck with their head and crush their superior attitude. Ha, and why not

Clyde said...

Bunny
I guess it does make sense.
But I cand agree on the less successful the parent---I do think that you need a fair bit of life experience to be a successful parent.
Oh, if you meant less success in completing the impregnation bit---well, yep, I guess so.


Fanny
I'll have to label my Tupperwear before I put it in your fridge---dont want to get the sleeping swimmers mixed with the tartare sauce

phishez_rule said...

Just make sure you label the baby batter appropriately. You don't want someone defrosting that to use as a steak sauce...

Damn! Someone beat me to that comment.

Clyde said...

Phish
But you said it with such conviction----I'm just wondering what you have stored in your freezer ?
Then again, maybe I dont want to know

Fanny F said...

I quite like that sauce, actually.

Clyde said...

Fanny
I guess we could mix it and call it seafood swimmer sauce

UBERMOUTH said...

Well I call it ' informing the masses' but Rod says the same as you![he thought men had erections until the day they died and did not know their scrotal sac elongates like a sock with an orange in the toe ,until he met me!]
I am a natural born teacher.
He is now on anti-depressants and feeling 20 yrs older LOL
I feel much happier and 15 yrs younger! :)

Clyde said...

Uber
If anyone tells you that you are a bitch, you tell them from me---You are THE bitch---Ha---Poor Rod

UBERMOUTH said...

THANK YOU! MY dahling!!

oestrebunny said...

I didn't specifically mean people. I meant animals in general. In nature, the younger the parent the better chance of survival for both parent and young. An old lion may have all the parenting skills in the world, pity it doesn't have the strength to fight off a younger contender.

Clyde said...

Bunny
The old lion is too smart to fight with the young lion, he just wants to slowly sneak up on a couple of young lioness

EmmaK said...

lots of reasons why old codgers like Michael Douglas can father kids, like you can spin like sixty ejaculations together to make massively concentrated sperm and maybe even take all those wierd double headed ones out!

I just read a book that said that sperm and the Y chromosome has now become so defective (no one knows why, maybe environmental pollution) that males will probably die out in 125,000 years!!

UBERMOUTH said...

Would you like me to pretend to be a troll?

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Since I have replaced my "crib" with a "playpen", sperm counts no longer matter to me.

Just as long as I get some, I a happy Peanut Queen! ;)

oestrebunny said...

Emmak - Necessarily a bad thing? :)

Clyde said...

Emma
So you reckon we can put 6 or seven wanks worth in the milshake machine and use the turkey baster--
Geez we could go on forever

Any guy who saw Ms Zeta Jones in The Darling Buds of May could summons up a good one

Hey, you ladies have been saying for years that the Y chromosome is defective.

Clyde said...

Uber
Do you really have to pretend ?
Ha----Geez, your new one comes up with an old name----Hello Shell

Stacy
Yep, when it omes to a play pen, you only need a good spray painting out fit-----and its good to freshen the paint as often as you like-----colour, optional

Buny
OOOOAAAAAHHHHH, now even you cant wait that long.
Nice new Avatar

oestrebunny said...

:) I'm only jesting.

Thanks :)

Steph said...

Best you start stocking up then. Fill your freezer, you never know when you may need some.

Clyde said...

Steph
Start ?
I'm running out of tupperware

phishez_rule said...

I just have the meat stored in my freezer.

I like my sauce fresh.

Clyde said...

Phish
So do you have a regular order ?

phishez_rule said...

Unfortunately I have regular nothing. Dammit.

Clyde said...

Phish
Bugga
Guys tend to think its easier for girls---you know---have pussy, can get it---
Guess not

phishez_rule said...

We can get it. There's just no guarantees as to the quality.

Clyde said...

You want quality ?

phishez_rule said...

You don't?

And I want quantity too. I want it all!

Clyde said...

Phish
Yep, I suppose the quality is nice, but the quantity is always appreciated

UBERMOUTH said...

You're getting kinda lazy, Clyde. :)

Clyde said...

Uber
Bloody pushy shiela.
I've been waiting for you to come back----
And my anonymous coward left me--snif