GOOD FOR YOU

Did you know that you can tell from the skin whether a person is sexually active or not?
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1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love ---that's bonk for you cretins--- they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth----so stop lying Kylie, we can see it in your hair.
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2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.------ah ha---no pimples, you are bonking your heart out
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3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.----so you might as well say yes or ya gonna end up fat
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4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers----unless you are into that kinky stuff
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5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being----so when you talk about fucking depression, it is actually a lack of fucking, depression
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6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy-----but I'm guessing that if you ain't getting any, everyone knows and thinks that you are a dud root
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7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM------it sure calms me down and I sleep like a baby----hey, just refreshing myself for morning sex
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8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up------so get rid of the tooth brush, gargle and snog someone on the train to work
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9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain------so no more of that bullshit of not tonight, I've got a headache
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10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever------geez, they've taken all of the good cold and flu drugs off the shelf---who knew you could do the same with a little help from a friend

So if you want to look good and feel good, there is one thing that you can do to help your self-----get out there and root like rabbits.

If anyone (girls only) needs any assistance, as a public service to mankind, I can make myself available

Ha