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Friday, 25 February 2011

QUESTIONS

It really doesn't matter how or where you meet someone, you always have some questions that you will ask.
Even if they are just acquaintances or friends, you want to know something about them and usually a bit more than they will volunteer----after all, you don't want to be seen to be friends with a mass murderer or rapist----but then again, they are not likely to tell you about that.

I must admit to being a bit of a stickler when it comes to relationships or even the very rare one night/day stand---I actually want to know if the person is single--well at least not married and living with a husband.

My ex wife, so I've found out since, was not so fussy----tried to get a lawyer friend of mine to represent her in our divorce by offering favours----favours that she had offered him before when we were living together in our marriage.---oh, and he wasn't the only one.
I did tell my mate that he should have accepted her offer
1) I would have loved to battle him in court (I did my own divorce and property settlement)
2) My ex wife was very good when it came to bedroom gymnastics.

Any way, the reason for my post
As a relationship develops, there is more and more that you learn and want to know about your partner.

In America recently, a woman was arrested for the murder of her step daughter.
The girl's father was an Australian and had met this woman on line---the relationship developed and the woman came to Australia.
They married and moved to America
He knew that she had been married before and was divorced----but it wasn't until she was charged and arrested that the investigation showed that she had been married seven times before----he didn't know
You would have to be wary of a woman who had been married seven times before---you just cant be that unlucky in love.

But is that a question that you ask ?
Oh, you are divorced---how many times have you been married ?
No, it's not a question you ask and I guess that if you are the woman, it's not information that you volunteer.

I did get a bit of a chuckle at this story.
I really don't know why, but I was looking for something in my wife's robe and saw her wedding dress---well, actually there was two----yes, well I knew she had been married before---oh, hang on, there's three wedding dresses.-----so I had to ask---6 years into our marriage---and yes, I was victim 3----she had forgotten to tell me about number 2---and she was still married to him and living with him when we went out on our first date.---I never knew

You see, I just never asked the question, so she never volunteered the information
My fault
Maybe it is a question you should ask----divorced---lovely--how many times

16 comments:

Ponita in Real Life said...

Having been married more than once, I make a point of telling my date that so there will not be any surprises in the future. But then, I am an honest and upfront kinda girl... No skeletons in my closet!

Dutch donut girl said...

What a horrible way to find out that the woman you married is not the person you thought she was.

Never been married. Never been divorced. Now what does that tell you? Nothing. Can you ever really and fully know a person? Even if you ask all the right questions? I really wonder about this. We all have our own thoughts, motives, fears and ideas in our heads. Things that we don't tell even those closest to us. I watch what people do instead of what they say, but even that doesn't always work. If people want to not be found out - they can hide it.
It is only after a period of time that the true person emerge. You can't hide your true colors forever.

mapstew said...

I've been married 15 times. Twice to the same man! :¬)

ps. Check your mail!

Clyde said...

Ponita

I'm not so sure if it's something that you need tell every guy you date, but if things are getting serious, I think it's only fair to let them know.
Personally it would be no problem to me but not nice to find out years into a marriage

Clyde said...

Donuts

Counting the wedding dresses wasn't fun but your daughter is killed by your wife who has 7 priors--hmmm---has to be something wrong with her.
Ha ha ha---it did tell me something--you are smart but the guys you date are dumb
I'm sure that you have nothing to hide---you have told us everything---oh, and that photo, nearly shown us everthing

Clyde said...

Stew

I'm betting on you being married once to a lovely lady

♥ The Lyrical Designer ♥ said...

life is sure scary when you cant trust the one youre married to.

Thats why im gonna let my parents do the grilling for me, AFTER i do my own background checks ..LOL no one walks through fire and comes out hiding anything when my parents are involved!! LOL!!!! intimidating? yea sure, but i would so do that instead of regretting later.

UBERMOUTH said...

Why did she kill the daughter though?
I have been married once,not divorced,not actively married, not good at paperwork. :)

Clyde said...

Lyrical Lady

It's just like the rest of life---you have to take a chance.

Ha ha ha---I guarantee I could pass the test of fire but it is the life without your parents watching, that you have to survive.
Marriage is something that people should work on every day---if they can learn to give and take and to share, they are half way there

Clyde said...

Uber

I have no idea why she would kill a beautiful little girl.
The poor kid had survived cancer and lost a leg---she had a wonderful smile--would melt most hearts.

Oh, you better get good at paper work-----if you are not divorced, no matter how long ago you separated, he will be entitled to share in your estate if you die--and once you divorce him, make sure that you have a will, otherwise he can still claim

Macy said...

I'm still thinking about the wedding dresses ... did she find a lot of occasions to wear them???

Clyde said...

Macy

I think they were like trophies or medals.
They were all fairly traditional wedding dresses.
She could have at least recycled

Danielle said...

LOL, I am a nosey bitch. I ask questions like you would not believe. Well, maybe you would! LOL

Clyde said...

Danielle

It pays to be nosey at times---well, to an extent.
But the problem with asking a lot of questions is that you will get a lot of answers----some of them lies.
I will tell you the truth, but you might not like the answers

JennAventures said...

My new question I have to ask is a bit of a downer-have you ever been given a restraining order? How many? Did you violate them? How? Oh...by beating the tar out of your girlfriend...? Great...next!

Awkward

Clyde said...

Jenn

Unfortunately there are some funny people out there---
You nearly need to ask all of those questions---
Problem is that the guys who are guilty of those sort of activities will lie