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Sunday, 17 January 2010

WHY ?

You work with a lot of people in your life time.
You develop friendships and acquaintances----you just know all of these people to certain degrees.

They are work "mates"----

You may not really like them or what they do in their private lives, but you feel some attachments.
I had a very strange relationship with this guy
He could always make you laugh---he always had something to say
He had a great interest in photography and motor racing---he combined the two.

I got an email from old workmates that he was in trouble.
He had been caught out trying to photograph female employees in their change room, using his mobile phone.
Of course the photos had been deleted by the time they grabbed his phone.
I had spoken to him before about inappropriate associations with young female employees.

They shifted him to another location while things were investigated---
But the investigation is over

He hung himself in his home work shed.

He had a wife and two young children

Why would you do that
How could you
It is going to be your family to find you
How ?
Why ?
Is it the ultimate selfish act ?

Besides his family, the woman who he tried to photograph feels guilt---why ?
And some of his workmates look at her like she has some responsibility.

Why ?

29 comments:

Quixotica said...

mmm... it's difficult to say what is right or wrong; the 'heaven' and 'hell' concepts are right here, at the most sacred moment whe called 'election'. but again... what is right or wrong will always remind confusing.

Why?... I don't know.. :S some things are still a mystery. Whe can judge an action to make our world bearable... understandable... predictable, but that doesn't mean anything at all at the end. And when/what is the 'end'... who knows.

And I don't think is selfish... perhaps the others are the selfish. Again, is all blurred.

Anonymous said...

It is not selfish to commit suicide, it is just very sad for the 'victim' and his family and friends. I had a friend who hung himself in his bathroom, because he was very depressed. I am not angry just hurt. He felt like he had no choice.

Macy said...

Maybe it's just me, but it doesn't seem like a whole reason for committing suicide on its own - I think there must have been an underlying reason. And I don't know, so I can't judge.

fingers said...

I've had a few friends top themselves over the years; it's terribly sad.
However, no matter what you think of their reasoning, I honestly believe you have to give them the benfit of the doubt. I really don't think these acts are committed lightly or on the spur of the moment. These people are/were in pain, maybe not enough pain to make you neck yourself, but enough for them.
Very personal stuff, suicide...

Clyde said...

Quixotica

Of course it is sad and he elected his own end.
But to leave his children without a father just seems to be a selfish act---very sad

Clyde said...

Anon

Depression is certainly a devil
I just dont know---I cant help but feel more for the people left behind to deal with the result

Clyde said...

Fingers

It is sad to think that someone would plan their own demise, actually thinking about the people around them.
Luckily his children didn't find him and see him hanging there.
What a vision for a child to carry for the rest of their life.
Sorry you've had a few to ponder.
You have to wonder just what was so bad in life----what was in the darkness

Clyde said...

Macy

You're right
I can think all that I like, but I shouldn't judge---I really dont know

mapstew said...

Clyde pal, will any of 'us' ever understand what went through the mind of a suicidal person who has completed their final mission?

Having been the friend of more than one person who has died through suicide (I don't like the term 'committed', as I don't see it as a crime), I do feel so much for the people left behind. Their questions are never answered.

Clyde said...

Stew

You're right. I don't understand.
But I don't have to. His family has to have something.
He left no note.
I know he had problems at work and at home but none seemed so overpowering.
Two young children have no father--they have no answers

Sister Christian said...

I think it's selfish to commit suicide, but I don't think it's right for others to regard the woman with condemnation.
Whoever must've said the word to get an investigation going in the first place must have strongly felt that there was a reason behind it.
It's a serious and touchy topic and I don't think anyone would incite it just for the fuck of it because no one's reputation ever recovers from that sort of suspicion.
As for the working father with the wife and children, I feel sorry for him. Not to say that I'm okay with what he may have been doing with the Peeping Tom Photography, but it's still not right to put his family and friends through the sort of ordeal a suicide brings.

Dutch donut girl said...

To those not in the grips of suicidal depression and despair, it's difficult to understand. It's hard enough to lose someone to death but feeling any responsibility for the death — however real that responsibility is or isn't — is overwhelming to live with.

fingers said...

I just wonder how many of these poor people got to the other side and wish they could now take a Mulligan...

Clyde said...

Sister Deb

I think it is selfish if you have people who love you---especially children.
But then I really dont understand depression to a degree that would drive you to an edge.
Knowing him, I have no doubt that he tried to take photos in the change rooms---and I have to wonder what else he has photographed.
I am very sad for him but mad at him for his wife and children

Clyde said...

Donuts

I have my doubts that I will ever understand the despair of a person who suicides. We all live with some responsibilities---even though mine at this time are only to a dog---but I couldn't go and leave her----and I'm not takeing her with me.
Those left behind, be it his children and wife or the poor victim of his perverted photography, are going to feel some guilt----why---he did it.

Clyde said...

Fingers

Great thought----but is there another side.
I have always wished so for my brother, but my parents had a long enough life.
Hey, if you think that there is one, good luck

Kimberly said...

I think suicide is very selfless act. I also believe in not being a rat in some cases...we all have opinions.

fingers said...

Actually I don't think there's another side, mate...but I needed the device to make the point...

Clyde said...

Kimberly

Hey, we are all entitled to an opinion and it would be a sad world if we all agreed.
It would be a lot easier to form an opinion if we had all of the facts---unfortunately, we never will

Clyde said...

Fingers

Then I guess we will both be dust blowing in the wind.
And before you get there, that's the only blowing that I'll be doing

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Clyde: My uncle shot himself in his front yard. The neighbor saw him do it. My cousin went there 5 minutes later. His father had called him to go talk with him. I guess 5 minutes was not fast enough.

the reason...my aunt was leaving him, she was fed up with his terrible treatment of her and had found out about an affair he was having.

I didn't feel anything...I didn't know him. We spoke maybe twice my whole life but I felt guilty because my heart had no feeling for him.

fab post sweetie. xxx

Clyde said...

Miss Jones

Why should you feel guilty for not having feelings for someone you hardly knew.
And from what you say about him, he was a pretty weak guy, not prepared for the consequences of his actions

EmmaK said...

um um ...distracted....why is there a super hot naked lad on the right side of your blog? I like v much. You in younger years?

Steph said...

How sad! Thankfully I've only ever known one person who did it and we'll never understand why. We can't really judge I guess.
Hope his family is ok........well as ok as they can be.

Clyde said...

Emma
Not naked---has jeans on---mind in gear.
What do you mean younger years ?

Clyde said...

Steph

Fortunately, neither of us will know too many people who take their own lives.
The sadness goes everywhere.
His family of course.
The woman he tried to photograph who feels some blame
Him--why would you take that final step---he was quite popular at work---had troubles at home---and of course had this bent idea that he could take photos in a changeroom---

Clyde said...

Isiah

Your translation----
"It turns out that the world shared a taste of a joke with you, who went so far as such a rare"

I don't find any joke with the death of a troubled person.
Maybe his cry for help went too far

The Caffeinated Globe said...

Reading the post, I felt the same question as you did, Clyde. The question "why?"

http://caffeinatedglobe.blogspot.com/

Clyde said...

TCG

Yep, I still have to ask why anyone else should be feeling guilty.
I have found out since that he was taking very compromising photos of a young lady in another work location----I have to wonder what other photos he had been taking---and he had young daughters