BAD BLOOD

Health wise, I have lived a pretty charmed life, especially for a guy who still smokes far too many cigarettes.

Unlike most guys that I know, I made a decission some years ago, that it was a good idea to actually go to a doctor whenever I was suffering from unexplained symptoms.
Actually I have always been moderately careful since having a malignant growth cut from my arm at the age of 12------but a lot more alert since my brother died of cancer at the age of 44.

So since that time I have a full check up every year and every three years I let some surgeon take a magical mystery tour through my colon----my father had two bouts of colon cancer and my brother died of secondary cancers to an advanced colon cancer.

Last week I made my appointment with my local doctor to have my check up. He was quite amazed with his initial findings from an aging smokers body but of course was obliged to give me the mandatory anti smoking lecture----I didn't have the heart to tell him that I smoked twice as much as I was prepared to declare to him. He then passed me over to a pathology nurse to take sufficiet blood to do a myriad of tests.

Now this lady was not young and I'm guessing that she had a fair bit of experience in her field, but she had great difficulty in extacting blood from me---said it was my fault---I should drink more fluids and doctors should tell fasting patients to drink plenty of water before presenting to have blood taken---she tried both arms at the inner elbow and my right wrist but extracted a minimal amount---she told me how good she was and divided the sample into three and said that it would be sufficient.

Two days later I received a phone call advising me to come and see my doctor as soon as possible---the caller was the nurse at the doctor's practice so I asked if my blood results were that bad----she said that they weren't good, so I asked her to get another pathology form from the doctor so that I could get more blood tested at another pathology firm---I told her of my experience with the pathology nurse and how small the samples would have been-----she told me to come in straight away and she would take the blood for testing.
She was shocked to see the bruising in both elbows and my right wrist but miraculously extracted plenty of blood for all of the tests to be done.
She called me two days later and asked that I come and see the doctor, but at my leasure.

The doctor was amazed at the two tests----said he was very worried at my acidic levels in the first test and how fast my blood had coagulated during testing----but the second test showed everything was fine except my colesterol levels----funny about that Doc, but I have an underactive thyroid and take medication for it---he looked at my records and smiled.
You see, if you have an underactive thyroid, no matter if you are on medication, your colesterol levels are elevated naturally.

The doctor did tell me that if he was guided by my initial blood test, he would think he was working on a man with kidney and liver failure and that my life expectancy was minimal---
Lucky I had that second test

There is nothing like a second opinion

SIGN OF THE TIMES

Political correctness has changed advertising and publications over the years, but sometimes I do wonder if it is for the better.

Sure, I dont think that household appliances should be advertised as something for the "little woman" or that cigarettes should be advertised as cool but I do worry about some things that are now agressively advertised that never saw the light of day in the past.

Not so much for the product or the indended audience, but for the children who see these adverts and for their parents who have to answer the child's questions.

How do you explain the uses and needs for condoms to a 9 year old and what do you say to your son about tampons and pads with wings----

Maybe that is not so bad in todays liberal community and I dont believe in lying to children---but OK, try to explain pads for urinary incontinence or what prostate problems are..

Advertising is a great way to get information to people---and can be very comforting to some people who have been suffering in silence, thinking that they have an unusual problem, but in the hands of children can be very confusing.

Did you know that untreated premature ejaculation can lead to impotence ?
Well, to a young guy just starting the adventure of his life, this is a very scary inaccurate statement, but important information for someone later in life.

That is the problem with a lot of advertising today----it is accurate in the right circumstance but can cause unwarranted fear to others who are in another circumstance.

The question to women of "Do you have trouble reaching orgasm?" can have a medical remedy if you are sexually active mature woman--but if you are 16 it is more likely that your boyfriend only last 25 seconds and isn't worried about you.

So its fine to advertise everything, but know that your message is reaching an audience with more questions than you are answerring---and that you are leaving some very uncomfortable parents to answer some of those questions.

Oh, and it used to be that young boys would hide a magazine that they got from some neighbour or friend---it could usually be found under the matress in their bedroom or they would smuggle it into the toilet for some one on one time----but kids today have it so much easier---they just covet the ladies underwear section from the variety chain store.
Ok, the girls probably take the mens underwear section.

At least we are not teaching kids that owner operator action will send you blind----well, I haven't seen that advert yet