TOO YOUNG

The drinking age in Australia was 21

He was too young to drink, too young to live the life of a man, yet he was old enough to enlist in the Army.
It was not a chosen career, it was not something he wanted to do but he thought that he should.
There was a war in Europe and we were part of the Commonwealth.
Our soldiers were going and they needed more.
There was no conscription, it was voluntary and he volunteered

He was a boy----not tall or robust. He had never seen a gun or owned knife. He hadn't finished his trade apprenticeship but he signed up---he thought it was right--he thought that he should.

He had never been lucky, things never seemed to go his way yet he was prepared to gamble with his life.

Basic training was over and he was heading for the war---the last day in Australia, and it could be the last day he ever saw his country.
His luck did not improve when he and a mate were placed in charge of loading luggage onto the troop ship---the rest were allowed to have time with family and friends and even drink---yes, they were now soldiers and the age law did not apply to them.
A little luck turned into the luckiest day of his life.
They had finished loading the luggage and supplies, so his mate convinced him that they should have a drink for a good job done ---why not---there was two hours til departure time and they were legal---the wharf workers directed them to a local hotel and away they went.
They weren't gone that long but it was too long---departure time was an hour before what they had thought and back at the wharf they saw their ship sailing away---they were quickly reassigned and and sailed three days later.
What they didn't know til after the war was that their original ship sailed into Singapore Harbour not knowing that Singapore had fallen to the Japanese---the troops were prisoners without firing a shot in anger.

He saw action in North Africa and the Middle East and survived to be sent back home to Australia but his war was not over.
He didn't get back to his State or his family before his battalion was posted to New Guinea.
He never told me but I know he walked and crawled the Kokoda Trail, I know that he suffered badly and that he came home with mental images and memories that no one should ever have.
He never spoke of the war in terms of battle
He found no glory in anything that had happened.
He would talk of the wonderful people in Palestine and how beautiful he found the country to be---how wonderful the jungles of New Guinea smelled and how friendly the natives were, but no more.
He had no hate in him for the men he fought---they were doing no more of a job than he was.

Today is Anzac Day in Australia---a day we remember all of those who have fought to protect the liberties of this country and it's allies.

But I remember him every day---he is my hero.

I miss you dad, I love you

RESURRECTION

OK, a little Clyde history lesson.

I grew up in a loving family of four. One brother and two wonderful caring parents.
My brother died young, never having married and having no children.

I married a beautiful woman who had a child from a previous marriage. Our plan was to have at least one more child----well, that was the agreed discussed plan.
After failing to get pregnant for quite some months, my beautiful lady went off to have some medical tests which resulted in me going off for tests----I passed with flying colours but after a few more months, I was asked to try testing again.
I phoned my wife's doctor to get my result but was told that I was not the patient and they could only give my wife the result.
Although he shouldn't have, my wife's doctor phoned me a couple of weeks later----he said he knew he shouldn't tell me but that there was no way my wife would conceive while she still took birth control pills.
I never confronted her---I just hoped that she would change her mind.

She never did and that plus many more factors resulted in a bitter separation and divorce.

My experience made me a little less trusting but I still wanted children and I hoped for a loving relationship-----I still hope but I think I'm past the children stage---unless the lovely lady already had children to bring into any relationship.

Both of my parents have died since, so I am a family of one---oh, except the beautiful dog laying at my feet.

Eight years ago I had a relationship with a girl 20 years my junior who I had met through work.
It was her instigation---I was reluctant at first but she was very insistent.
Caroline was young, beautiful, forward, horny and I was alive.
The relationship lasted just on 8 months but finished as abruptly as it started---she walked out one day to spend a weekend with her mother and never came back.
There was no explanation, there was no fight----she just left and didn't want to talk----she got angry if I contacted her so I just had to leave it as a mystery of life.

On Friday I ran into an old work mate----I hadn't seen him in 7 or 8 years---we talked for hours when he came up with a great revelation----it was so off the cuff, I don't know where it came from----but there it was.
"So Clyde, are you the father of Caroline's son?"

I had no idea that he knew Caroline or that I had a relationship with her.
Turns out that his partners' sister is Carolines best friend and that he knew everything about us----including Caroline giving birth in a period of time that could count me in for fatherhood.
He also knew that the child's birth was registered without a father and that Caroline insisted that she didn't know who it was and had claimed to have a few partners around the time of our break up.

So tell me where I stand now.
The few times over the years that I have tried to contact Caroline, she has become very angry.
When someone from work contacted her in relation to another official matter, she accused them of phoning on my behalf and accused me of stalking.

I cant force this matter----how much of a stalking wanker would I be to try to interfere with her life now.
How could I join in now even if I was the father of her son-----he hasn't known a father----it would not be fair on him---it's not fair on her----how would she explain it to him.
I am almost a desperate to find out-----even just knowing would satisfy me---but I am sure that she wouldn't tell me now.

I have a lot to think about
I'd given up on fatherhood, but maybe I am.

SUSPICION

You look like you are from Persia---I don't trust you

You have a suntan, a scruffy beard and your wife has a hood over her head and I cant check out her tits so you have to be a suicide bomber or some sort of terrorist. Your children look different and I don't want them mixing with mine.

You want to face the East and pray at certain times of the day---I don't know anything about that so I am suspicious of you.

How sad is our world
We live in fear of what we don't understand but because someone claims it to be Muslim, our level of fear increases.

They talk about terrorists being Muslim fundamentalists but if ask your average follower of the Muslim faith and they have no idea of of what a fundamentalist is or may look like.

OK, it took a bit but I decided to read the Koran / Quoran-(fuck you Microsoft on your spelling).
Now according to this book of faith, this religion has nothing against the Christian religion and suggests nothing about waring with the infidels.

So what is this shit.

Is it no more than some "persons" radical interpretation of a religious book.
Is this like the Catholics versus the Christadelphians versus the Jehovah's Witnesses versus the Anglicans----but this is another book.
Is this book any worse than the Book of Mormon or anything published by those weird cunts, the Scientologists ----oops, sorry--4 letter word, but tell me there is another description for them.

Was there not a world war started by some little Austrian born German dictator with an agenda to wipe out those of another religion in Europe.

Are we going to be intimidated by people who are strong in their beliefs, or are we going to be suspicious of them because of their beliefs, just because the rebels against our beliefs happen to have the same religion as they do.

The people threatening our way of life are terrorists----gutless morons who attack innocent people because they don't have the bravado to come out and fight in hand to hand combat.
They hide behind a peace loving religion and make us suspicious of all who follow that faith.
Love your neighbour because they are your neighbour, not because they are Catholic, Muslim or Buddhist.
Hate your neighbour because they are arrogant, ignorant, antisocial morons, not because of their race, colour or religion.

I hope we can fix it---why not try---tolerance and understanding

Amen

GET YOUR KIT BACK ON

OK, Summer is over, so could you put your clothes back on and stop frightening my dog.

I live 100 yards from a beautiful white sandy suburban beach.
It is not a popular beach because you can't park on it and there is not a lot of parks close to it---so people being lazy choose to go to other beaches----please do.

The Local Government Regulations allow me to walk my dog on the beach, off the leash before 10am during the warmer months and all day for the rest of the year.

OK, I just have to add in some facts here---this is a suburban beach---close to houses, families and children----my dog is a golden Labrador and everybody loves Labradors. And I walk my dog on that beach nearly every day of the year.

It doesn't matter how many health warnings the authorities issue about sunbathing, it seems that young girls believe as long as you do it before noon, there is no health risk.

Now I'm not going to knock this---the beach is a beautiful place in the morning but the vision of the occasional fit young lady, topless or not, laying on the sand enhances the wonders of nature.
Most of the topless girls cover up / roll over as people get closer or as my dog wanders over to introduces herself----but some just ignore the intrusion and enjoy the rays.
There are small sand hills a little further down the beach from my house.
It is a fairly regular occurrence that my dog will flush out a nude sunbather---most cover up very quickly but occasionally they just yell at her and flash me.

Really, I don't care----enjoy your sunbathing as long as you are not offending any families or children.
BUT---yes BUT----what does bother me is those ladies those who are a fair bit older than their teens, 20s or 30s and are carrying far too much condition to suck in to impress the passers by and those 40s, 50s guys who strut up and down the beach in their skimpy swimmers, sucking in their guts------for gods sake, go away, you are frightening my dog.

Why is it that people who are totally out of condition or have reached those droopy years, think it is acceptable to show their wares on a public beach.

I have never been to a nudist beach but those people that I know who frequent them are not people I want to see with their kit off. Don't some of these people have mirrors

So summer is over---I'm gonna miss the cute little sunbathers til next year but I'm certainly not going to miss the crinkly wrinkly wannabes.

My dog and I will still enjoy this beach til next summer

MONSTER

The green monster will eat you right up.

OK, for the guys who just got a twitch in their jocks and the ladies who just had a quick flaps down landing, I have to explain this eating.

I'm not sure if all parts of the English speaking world understand that the "Green Monster" is a euphemism for jealousy.-----Geez, who knew that I could spell euphemism.

From my experience of life, which is fairly considerable, jealousy tears into more psyches than any other emotion.

Of course we all suffer from petty jealousies----some of them caused by varying degrees of vanity.
I don't want to get sexist here but I think that the ladies suffer with a few more of these petty jealousies than the average guy.----better shaped, smaller, bigger, perkier chest flesh----longer legs, firmer arse, hair colour. It is funny that those with the most insecurities have the most.

Guys really only have two common jealousies / insecurities / vanities----they want more to fill their jocks and a better car------there used to be a third---hair---but now a shaved head is a fine thing---the comb over is dead.

All of these insecurities will nag at us to certain degrees until we really start to obsess over something and then all logic goes out the window.
In relationships, jealousies cause a loss of trust and without trust, there is no basis for the relationship to survive.

I had no idea how insecure, obsessive, controlling and jealous my ex wife could be until I married her-----of course I didn't, I wouldn't have married her--right.

Well, maybe---sometimes we see these things but because of out trust, belief and love, we ignore them.

The night before my wedding, my best mate told me that his wife was uncomfortable about all of the questions my future bride was asking about my previous relationships----especially one-----one that had ended some three years before.
I laughed about it at the time----I would have told her anything that she wanted to know.
The day after the wedding, driving to an interstate honeymoon, the subject came up---she brought it up----it was like an inquisition---and then accusations because I hadn't volunteered a blow by blow account of every day of my life.
For 9 years of marriage, that green monster ate the love, ate the trust but until it ate my soul, I thought we could survive.

Be careful of the green monster---it will eat you all up

Hmm, this started off so well, but I'm not sure that it was worth writing----but I had to post because some pushy woman told me---god, and she hasn't even showed me her bits

THE PASSING

There is this myth or is it an utter lie contrived by genteel ladies, that women don't fart.

OK, I know that as a young boy and even as a young man, I thought that volume and sound were very good things and should be cultivated to impress all within earshot.

That is was a great achievement to ease out that silent but deadly expulsion to a captive audience of a crowded lift

And as a young soldier, learning how flammable that gas was and burning the hairs off your arse in the name of manly fun.

But the girls----they never did----you know, they just don't fart.

A friend of mine explained to me that women don't actually fart until they are married----cos until then, they don't have an arsehole.

But now I have a very feasible explanation for why it is a rarity for women to be heard blurting out a thunderous fart.

They like to talk----OK, I know that
There are sometimes when they want to talk and you just want to get on about your business---OK---
So with all of this talking, they don't built up enough pressure for a decent fart.

OK, ladies, there it is---so less talking and more farting and your guy will be happier

LAW

OK, I'm gonna use a four letter word or two, so if you are so sweet and innocent that it may offend you----fuck off, cos it's my blog and I'm gonna do it.

I cannot fucking believe the laws of this bloody country

But then again there are probably not too many of you would know more about the law than me.
There are so many rules and regulations hidden from us that we don't know anything about them til we actually run in to them.

Alrighty, we have established that I am a fairly knowledgeable bastard when it comes to the laws of this country---OK, you are just gonna have to believe me.

So my last post was about organ donations and me being a donor and why aren't you.
All pretty simple shit and who needs the bits when the day has come.

According to my drivers licence, I am a donor
According to all of my friends (cos I don't have any family), I am a donor because I have told them, and they have to deal with it.
According to me, I am a donor and have been for a lot of years.

According to the Donor Register, I am not a donor.----I don't fucking believe this.

OK, here is how it fucking works in this stupid, over governed country.

I get a renewal notice for my drivers licence.
There it is----do you want to be an ORGAN DONOR----tick here.
So you tick----and when your licence is produced, there it is---in bold letters---ORGAN DONOR----and that is my State Government issued licence.

So here it is, organ donors week, so I go on line to check out all about it and find a Commonwealth Government donor registration form.
OK, just to be sure, and there could be two donor lists, I fill out the form.
The system tells me that I have already registered my intention to donate and that I should phone this donor line number.

OK, so I'm already registered----my State Government registration on my drivers licence gets registered on the Commonwealth Government list----that's fine----why phone ?.
But of course, being a nosey prick, I phone.
The guy on the phone started work there yesterday and keeps getting information from other people----that's fine, but I'm not liking this information----it's late and he asks if someone can phone me back the next day.
Sure----someone from the Government phone you back----ha.

Alright, I shouldn't say that----I worked for the State Government and was very anal about returning calls and keeping people informed----and, yes they phoned me back.

So here's the deal----my drivers licence tick and the on line form are just registering an intent to donate-----but until you actually turn up at a Medicare (Government Health Insurance) office and sign a form, your intention cannot be acted upon.
Oh, and when you tick your licence renewal form or fill out the form on line, you do not get told that you are only registering an intention and have to go and sign this form.
Fucking wonderful

But now, here it is-----between the State Government and Commonwealth Government rules, regulation, laws----you have registered your intention, your wishes, your will but some member of your family can at that last minute, object and by the time their objection goes to court, your organs are not viable.

What a fucking joke

So if you live in this fucking country, go to Medicare and sign your form and tell your relatives and friends that if they object, you will haunt their arses for eternity

Now, you are a donor
And here it is----