SIGN OF THE TIMES

There is no doubt that technology has taken over this world but has it come just a little bit too far.

For those of us who were a little bit shy and extremely inexperienced with those of the female gender, it was a daunting experience to actually ask out that girl who you fancied.

There wasn't the thought of first base or second base, it was more the hope that she might actually go out with you-----
Of course you could phone her but her mother or father normally answerred the phone and put you through the inquisition before you could talk to her and then if she said yes, you had to pick her up at her parents door and suffer the glares of her parents and little brother.

Of course you could approach her face to face but she was usually surrounded by her girlfriends and a knock back was usually amplified by the number of her girlfriends and of course you couldn't ask them out because they knew that they weren't your first choice.

But then technology made it so easy----every girl has her own phone----and you don't even have to talk to her, you just send a text message and see if she replies----the embarrassment factor has gone.

How easy has technology made things for young guys----well even easier when it is now appropriate for a girl to ask a guy out.

But now here it is----you dont phone, you dont send a text message, you sent a photo of your genitals to a girl and if she reciprocates you are at second base before reaching her front door.
And if she doesn't and shows the photo to her friends, you might receive a reply from one of them.
Or you end up with your bits on a facebook page.

Whatever you think, sexting is the new big thing of the world.
Personally, I have never given it a try----some might say at my age that it is just as well.

But I must say that I am not adverse to receiving and mail---oh, except from the guys---no non no

BAD BLOOD

Health wise, I have lived a pretty charmed life, especially for a guy who still smokes far too many cigarettes.

Unlike most guys that I know, I made a decission some years ago, that it was a good idea to actually go to a doctor whenever I was suffering from unexplained symptoms.
Actually I have always been moderately careful since having a malignant growth cut from my arm at the age of 12------but a lot more alert since my brother died of cancer at the age of 44.

So since that time I have a full check up every year and every three years I let some surgeon take a magical mystery tour through my colon----my father had two bouts of colon cancer and my brother died of secondary cancers to an advanced colon cancer.

Last week I made my appointment with my local doctor to have my check up. He was quite amazed with his initial findings from an aging smokers body but of course was obliged to give me the mandatory anti smoking lecture----I didn't have the heart to tell him that I smoked twice as much as I was prepared to declare to him. He then passed me over to a pathology nurse to take sufficiet blood to do a myriad of tests.

Now this lady was not young and I'm guessing that she had a fair bit of experience in her field, but she had great difficulty in extacting blood from me---said it was my fault---I should drink more fluids and doctors should tell fasting patients to drink plenty of water before presenting to have blood taken---she tried both arms at the inner elbow and my right wrist but extracted a minimal amount---she told me how good she was and divided the sample into three and said that it would be sufficient.

Two days later I received a phone call advising me to come and see my doctor as soon as possible---the caller was the nurse at the doctor's practice so I asked if my blood results were that bad----she said that they weren't good, so I asked her to get another pathology form from the doctor so that I could get more blood tested at another pathology firm---I told her of my experience with the pathology nurse and how small the samples would have been-----she told me to come in straight away and she would take the blood for testing.
She was shocked to see the bruising in both elbows and my right wrist but miraculously extracted plenty of blood for all of the tests to be done.
She called me two days later and asked that I come and see the doctor, but at my leasure.

The doctor was amazed at the two tests----said he was very worried at my acidic levels in the first test and how fast my blood had coagulated during testing----but the second test showed everything was fine except my colesterol levels----funny about that Doc, but I have an underactive thyroid and take medication for it---he looked at my records and smiled.
You see, if you have an underactive thyroid, no matter if you are on medication, your colesterol levels are elevated naturally.

The doctor did tell me that if he was guided by my initial blood test, he would think he was working on a man with kidney and liver failure and that my life expectancy was minimal---
Lucky I had that second test

There is nothing like a second opinion

SIGN OF THE TIMES

Political correctness has changed advertising and publications over the years, but sometimes I do wonder if it is for the better.

Sure, I dont think that household appliances should be advertised as something for the "little woman" or that cigarettes should be advertised as cool but I do worry about some things that are now agressively advertised that never saw the light of day in the past.

Not so much for the product or the indended audience, but for the children who see these adverts and for their parents who have to answer the child's questions.

How do you explain the uses and needs for condoms to a 9 year old and what do you say to your son about tampons and pads with wings----

Maybe that is not so bad in todays liberal community and I dont believe in lying to children---but OK, try to explain pads for urinary incontinence or what prostate problems are..

Advertising is a great way to get information to people---and can be very comforting to some people who have been suffering in silence, thinking that they have an unusual problem, but in the hands of children can be very confusing.

Did you know that untreated premature ejaculation can lead to impotence ?
Well, to a young guy just starting the adventure of his life, this is a very scary inaccurate statement, but important information for someone later in life.

That is the problem with a lot of advertising today----it is accurate in the right circumstance but can cause unwarranted fear to others who are in another circumstance.

The question to women of "Do you have trouble reaching orgasm?" can have a medical remedy if you are sexually active mature woman--but if you are 16 it is more likely that your boyfriend only last 25 seconds and isn't worried about you.

So its fine to advertise everything, but know that your message is reaching an audience with more questions than you are answerring---and that you are leaving some very uncomfortable parents to answer some of those questions.

Oh, and it used to be that young boys would hide a magazine that they got from some neighbour or friend---it could usually be found under the matress in their bedroom or they would smuggle it into the toilet for some one on one time----but kids today have it so much easier---they just covet the ladies underwear section from the variety chain store.
Ok, the girls probably take the mens underwear section.

At least we are not teaching kids that owner operator action will send you blind----well, I haven't seen that advert yet

COMFORT ZONES

All through our lives we find situations that allow us to feel comfortable and at peace with the world.

Sometimes it is as simple as a place that we like to visit that we either enjoy or feel at peace by just being there----it can be that place we like to escape to when other things in our life seem to be in a state of turmoil.

If you have had a good relationship with your parents, just visiting them or being in the "safety" of their home can make the worries of the world just disappear.
Of course, your parents visiting you in your home and staying for some time can have another result.

And your home can be your comfort zone
Especially if after turmoil living with others, you live alone and have your own routines.
Sure, at times it can be lonely, but the advantages of being able to do what you want, when you what and even with whoever you want seem to out weigh everything else.

Either you haven't been here before or you are blind Freddie to not know that I get a lot of comfort from walking on the beach with my dog.
Our walks are always relaxing and even though we are usually alone, we are always in great company-----funny how you see more or hear more and appreciate your surroundings more when you are just strolling though life.

Barring a few short relationships, I have lived alone for quite some time.
I am comfortable living alone
I eat what and when I want---I sleep what ever hours I want---I watch whatever television I want----I surf the net and visit whatever sites I want----I walk the house dressed or undressed as I want----I am comfortable in my life and in my house.

A couple of years ago, a girl came to work in my office on a casual basis--although very bright and pleasant, she had a sadness about her which seemed to be tearing her apart.
Being single and attractive, she soon became the target of mostly unwanted attention and enquiries. She seemed to be more comfortable in my company and confided a little of her past history.
She had spent some years in the Navy as a university educated officer but had been subjected to some fairly nasty inuendo because of her gender (nothing like the old boys clubs in the armed forces) and although not discharged, her active service had been suspended on medical grounds.
She had been married and had a child and lost custody of her little girl to her ex husband because of her "navy lifestyle" and those "medical grounds"
She was trying to get her life back together, but was struggling with finances and sharing accomodation with a guy who was not supportive and was basically getting her to spend as she earned.

Although I am very comfortable living alone, I do have a fairly large house with two bathrooms, and I couldn't help but offer her free accomodation to help her get back on her feet.

It took less than a two for things to start going wrong.
Her casual contract in my office expired and her temp agency couldn't find her another contract.
She wouldn't register for unemployment benefits ----she approached the Navy to try to activate her service but they refused on medical grounds---I queried that she should be receiving some sort of invalid pension from the Navy and approached a friend of mine who was the Judge Advocate General for this State who confirmed her entitlement---but she would not apply.
For two months she stayed in my house, smoked my cigarettes, ate my food, used my car and did nothing to earn her keep---no cooking, no cleaning, very little conversation and would hibernate in her bedroom from about an hour after I got home, til I left in the morning.
She made me feel very uncomfortable in my own house.
She didn't want to come with me when I walked my dog, or anywhere I suggested that we went at night, but was critical that I was just like everyone else, leaving her alone all of the time.
Luckily, she had some contact from her father in another State and decided that she should pack up and go "home" for a while----
Funny that she had no money for food or her own cigarettes but found enough for an airfare home----but at the airport, her baggage was 32 kilograms over weight and with "no money", the options were that I took the excess home and frieghted it to her or I paid the $200 excess and was rid of her----there went $200, which she said that she would send me.
But I had my house back and I was comfortable again----oh, and I never heard from her again and never saw that $200 again.

I have just dropped a friend of mine at her cousins house---she will be there for the weekend and with other friends for a few days before going back to her home state-----
She has just left her husband and stayed with me for 10 days----she has her problems, not the least being that she has MS.
From day one she was critical of my lifestyle and asked that I not smoke in front of her---on our first trip to the supermarket she got me to buy plug-in room deodorisers.
Because of her MS, she could not walk very fast or very far but she insisted on comming on my daily walk to the beach and was critical if I left her to go further with my dog.
She lived her disease and wanted to visit other people with the same affliction but didn't want me to meet them because her husband might find out that she was staying with me.
I cooked for her, I washed for her and I cleaned for her----she couldn't wash dishes because I should have a dishwasher, like she does.
My heater was running from morning to night, lights were on during the day because she doesn't like to wear her glasses----she would comment that she could still smell me smoking outside.
I fealt very uncomfortable in my own house.

We have our comfort zones and have to be careful of inviting others in.
Maybe I am too set in my ways, yet most of my friends find me very tolerant and adaptable.
Or maybe I have that sign on me "Use as you wish and treat how you like"

I may be a bit more reluctant the future----
But, ok, I know you---you are ok---you can come and stay.
Thank god I can fart again now

TAKE YOUR CHANCES

FAMILY

I was born into a family with one other child---and that's the way it stayed.
My paternal grandparents died in my first 18 months of life and my father was an only child---so I know little about that side of the family, other than my gradfather had two brothers, one who died in his 20s and the other alienated himself from the family.
Growing up, my maternal gradparents lived on an adjoining property and I was raised with all things Scottish, aunts, uncles and ten cousins----there never needed to be an excuse for the whole family to get together at my granparents house, which often spilled over into our yard.
In my mid teens, both of my gradparents died and so did the regular family socializing.
I married but had no children and many problems ended that liason.
My only brother died far too soon and my parents who were great supporters of everything I attempted have gone.

As far as family is concerned, I have some regular contact with two cousins, but that's my lot.----

Well so I thought.

I have searched a little of my paternal side and found that I am named after my paternal great gradfather who migrated alone from Denmark---he was a Master Mariner---a ships captain and was part owner of trading vessels plying the coast line of South Australia----kind of pioneering and romantic---except when I found one of his ships registration, changing it's name because it had been a slave trading vessel from South Africa.

But last week my family became substantially larger.
No, I haven't been breeding----well, nothing productive---well, not that I know of.
I got a phone call from a lovely lady who was tracing her husbands family. I gave her as much information as I had on my paternal grandparents and great grandparents---but she gave me more.
Yes, my great grandfather did migrate from Denmark---and yes, he did produce three sons with my great grandmother---but before that, he had 7 children with his first wife, who he met soon after arriving in Australia-- and of course they have all had families and families and families.
So this phone call has added another 140 plus relatives.
And I wondered what had happened to the old man's money.

I have a dream to visit Scotland and walk in the footsteps of my maternal Grandparents.
My Granfather was one of 7 children. Four migrated to Australia and I met and loved them all----and I do keep in touch with some 2nd or 3rd cousins who all live in another State---maybe it's because thay are a little older than be and when I first met them, they were beautiful teenage girls and I was a hormone driven 12 or 13 year old.
But there must be family in Scotland and I will try to find them before I go.
Yesterday I was sorting through some old stuff of my mothers----in an envelope there was a whole lot of old style computer printouts with names, birth and death details and some addresses for a whole lot of people I had never heard of.
Most of them live or lived in the USA and Canada but as I sorted through them the Scottish trail started to come to the fore until there in front of me was details of my grandmothers family.
It's funny that in all of these years I have found traces of the Robertson family---my gradfathers family, but somehow never thought that my grandmother had a family of her own----and there it was, my grandmother, a Cochrane and one of six children.
It's funny, that with the Scottish trait of allocating mothers maiden names, or grandmothers maiden names, as christian names of children, I somehow thought that my granny's maiden name was Malcolm---but that was her mother's maiden name and she was a Cochrane with half of her family living in the USA----and there is a great mob of them.

So answer one phone call and open one envelope and half the world could be related to me----I guess I'm not alone.

Immediate family, I have none
Fairly close, I have a few
But extended family, it could be you

GOOD OLD REMEDIES

It really doesn't matter how far medicine and science advances, we keep looking back at some of the good old remedies.

Whenever I got a cold, my mother would always offer to rub some Vicks Vaporub on my chest----so whenever any of my female friends get a cold, I make the offer.

My wonderful old horse trainer used to come up with some wonderful remedies for a lot of things----including boiling up stinging nettles to make a tea to drink to move kidney stones.

A lot of old remedies used with great success have included what we now know as deadly poisons---but in small doses, all poisons are stimulants.

I'm qite happy to try most of these old remedies but there are a few that I will just have to let pass into history