WORTH THE PAIN

I was 12 going on 13 and off to the big school----girls were still icky and not to be spoken to.
But it was different---they were so much older there----most of them had breasts or were very quickly developing them and suddenly became interesting.
Even the girls that went to the same lower school were sprouting noticeable chest flesh.

My brother was a year ahead of me and was not impressed that his little brother was now hanging around-----we had made this agreement that I wouldn't hang around him at school but his girlfriend from the lower school days had developed into a beautiful 14 year old and her friends were the popular girls.

One in particular, Mary, just seemed a class above every other girl at that school. She was beautiful, athletic, outgoing, popular and had this wonderful personality that drew everyone to her. She knew who I was and would always smile when she caught me staring at her but never spoke.
She really was my first crush but I have always been realistic and considered her out of my league.

Mary was there for 4 out 5 of my years at that school and for those 4 years I had the pain of a schoolboy crush and then a year of school with no Mary.

Fast forward 4 years and I was working and being the typical young guy, spending my money at the bar as often as I could.
I struck up a friendship with a scruffy looking lad who was one of two "bikers" in the area. I could never understand how he had the best looking girlfriend in the district. She was still a school girl and her parents did not approve of John and she was forbidden from seeing him---but she would sneak out on a regular basis.

I had just broken up with my girlfriend when John asked me if I would take him to the drive in movies.----"It's like this mate, I don't have a car and my girlfriends sister doesn't mind me, so she is going to bring her to the drive in and give us some time together"
What the hell---he was a good guy and I could get a few vodka mix cans and have them while he was off with the girlfriend.

No sooner did I park the car and he was off looking for their car.
I'd just settled in with a cigarette and a vodka can when the passenger door opened and in jumped Mary----my heart skipped so many beats as she smiled at me.
"Long time Clyde"----"Hey, she is my little sister and when he told me who had brought him, I wasn't going to sit there and watch those two, so if you don't mind, I thought I'd join you."

We didn't see much of the two movie program but for no other reason than we talked and laughed for the three hours plus.
We talked about school days and me staring at her---about what we had both done since those days and the school mate we would still see or keep in touch with.
Mary had rebelled against her parents and had moved interstate---she was home for a month to patch things up.

The night ended all too soon and she leaned across the car a kissed me on the cheek----I laughed and said "Well that started it over again---you caused me pain at school and now you are off into the night"----she laughed and said those cutting words---"You are a good guy Clyde"

Two weeks later I was at a local Pub Disco with a few friends when Mary walked in.
She smiled at me and joined a group at another table. I noticed her a few times during the night but she was with friends and I still thought that she was well out of my league so I didn't approach her.
It was an hour before closing time when she walked over to our table. My back was to her and she tapped me on the shoulder and said "Well are you ever going to dance with me"---my mates faces dropped---the best looking girl in the place is asking Clyde to dance.
The music slowed and Mary spent the next hour in my arms---I was in heaven---we talked, we laughed, we looked deep into each others eyes, we kissed---the pain was gone.
She asked if I could take her home----I had been drinking but would have risked driving for her but she said walk---she said "When I walk out of places like this alone, I get followed and pestered".
We didn't go straight home---we walked to the end of the fishing jetty---we talked, we kissed, we laughed, we held each other tight and made promises with all good intentions. We walked barefoot along the beach to the top of her street, we stood before a glowing moon and held on forever.
She laughed as I brushed her feet and fitted her shoes---there was a "Cinderella" reference as I took her hand and we walked to her door
She was like that little schoolgirl again as she giggled---we shared that long last kiss and she was gone.

I have never seen Mary since that night.
I had all of my fantasy with my fantasy girl----I wanted no more

WHY ?

You work with a lot of people in your life time.
You develop friendships and acquaintances----you just know all of these people to certain degrees.

They are work "mates"----

You may not really like them or what they do in their private lives, but you feel some attachments.
I had a very strange relationship with this guy
He could always make you laugh---he always had something to say
He had a great interest in photography and motor racing---he combined the two.

I got an email from old workmates that he was in trouble.
He had been caught out trying to photograph female employees in their change room, using his mobile phone.
Of course the photos had been deleted by the time they grabbed his phone.
I had spoken to him before about inappropriate associations with young female employees.

They shifted him to another location while things were investigated---
But the investigation is over

He hung himself in his home work shed.

He had a wife and two young children

Why would you do that
How could you
It is going to be your family to find you
How ?
Why ?
Is it the ultimate selfish act ?

Besides his family, the woman who he tried to photograph feels guilt---why ?
And some of his workmates look at her like she has some responsibility.

Why ?

WAY TO GO

There will always be people in your life who you will like from the moment you meet them

I have been involved with harness racing for far too many years but had the luck to be involved with some very knowledgeable horsemen. Horsemen who taught me to watch and listen---taught me to actually see what a horse was doing and to know why they were doing it.

I met Colin a good few years back----his personality was infectious---his horses not very talented----but he had a love for his horses and for what he was doing.
He was always willing to listen when someone gave him some advice and was always willing to try something new.
You just couldn't help but like the guy and be infected by his love of life and his lifestyle.

He laughed at me when he got up and beat my horse in a photo finish after trying something that I had suggested----I was pleased for him and he understood that I was just as pleased that my advice had worked as I would have been if my horse had beaten him.

My horses beat him home in a lot of races and he was gracious about it, but always reminded me of his conquest.

Colin had to stop driving horses after suffering a heart attack at a very young age.
His interest in harness racing never wained and he put his heart and soul into pony racing, with his young son driving the family's team of ponies.

The years passed and Colin's son outgrew the ponies so Colin established a team of horses the lad to drive.
His health had improved and he was passed to race drive himself.
He did very little driving, preferring to give his son as much experience as he could get.

Just before Xmas I watched one of his horses race----the horse was a pacer and intrigued me the way that he went---he was not rough in his stride but unusual----
I couldn't stop thinking about the horse and drove out to Colin's property early one morning to watch the horse work----the more I watched, the more I saw it and I had to tell him.
"Mate, that horse is trying to trot in his hopples----take them off and I'll bet he doesn't pace"-----he took the hopples off and the big horse trotted but needed balancing in his feet and shoeing.
Two weeks later, after a few visits and Colin's son following my shoeing instructions, the big former pacer was really starting to look like a racing proposition as a trotter.

Colin took the horse to the racing trials and in a field of 10, the big bloke behaved himself and finished 4th
It may have been a bit soon, but Colin couldn't wait to race him and nominated him for a race last Friday week.

I had to go to watch it happen----Colin's son had to work so Col was driving the horse himself.
He was like a kid with a new toy----he was excited about the horses prospects in the race.
I helped him harness up and sent him out----you could see the life in the man---he was proud of his horse and had a pride in himself to be back race driving-----it was his life, his enjoyment.

It might have been a fairytale
We will never know
There he was---the big horse and Colin running fourth with a lap to go----the horse was going well---maybe it could have been----but the horse slowed dramatically, Colin slumped forward in the cart and tumbled to the track.
The track attendants raced to his side----the paramedics were there in seconds----the race went on, the big horse was lose on the track.

Colin died that night----a massive heart attack.

No matter how sad, I can't hep but think that it was a great way for him to go---doing what he loved and with a chance to win that race.

He will be missed by a lot of people

YOU DON'T KNOW ME

Here we are writing blogs in countries all over the world.
The chances of us meeting up are pretty remote, so we can write what we like.

The truth is that I am a 16yo black girl living in Indonesia.
I sit naked in front of my computer playing with my ample breasts while reading your posts.

I have no idea how accurate your persona's are

Jimmy Bastard could be a 25yo gay florist from London
Mapstew is actually my dream girl playing in an Irish family band.
Sister Deb is actually a 6'9" male basketballer from Detroit
Scarlet is a redheaded 84 yo grandmother with chin hair
Donut Girl is really a 16yo school boy virgin---so I could be in love because he lives next door
Of course Spiky is real---no one could make up that life
And of course, Steph is real---no one else could have a shoe collection like that and not be exactly Steph

Me. OK, I am who I say I am
If I was gonna make it up, I would be younger, better looking, have a lot more money and have a much more interesting life to tell you about.

No I am not a 16yo big breasted girl from Indonesia, but I could be

You would never know

Jimmy a florist---yer, right---ha ha ha

Yes, I typed it left handed